Shock, Disbelief...Immoral Outrage

My friends, we are entering a sad, sad era indeed. The year 2005 will be a landscape of hopelessness and destitution.

First Kazaa Lite and now Suprnova (the source of all that was good and free) has felt the wrath of international corporate lawyers and been shut down. I shall remember the site fondly - a digital playground filled to overflowing with all the games, videos, and applications I could possibly download...and, er, evaluate.

Though Nicole, and possibly the neighbour who is networked with my internet connection, will certainly be happy that my computer will no longer be bogged down by a dozen BitTorrent downloads, I will miss the days, nay, weeks, some precious games took to download. The last file I managed to get before the closure of the site was LOTR: BfME, and though its already consumed far too many hours of my life, will be treasured that much more.

R.I.P. Suprnova.org (2002-2004); you've left this world as a better place that when you found it.

Currently: Dreading the prospect of actually paying for software!

Every Day is Saturday

Sweet, glorious freedom.

But at what a cost! The last exam I wrote this semester was perhaps the most terrifying, most insidious exam I've ever had the misfortune of coming across. Granted, mathematics has never been my strong point, and I haven't worked with a formula or commissioned the services of a calculator since Math 30 in High School, but I honestly tried to wrap my head around this class. It's listed in the university calendar as a Sociology course (and is required for my degree) but I'm fairly certain it's an advanced statistics course, concerning itself very little with social theory and interpretation. It's pretty hard to bullshit your way around the logic of hypothesis testing.

The class was hard, the exam satanic, and I'll be happy with anything resembling a passing grade.

On a more positive note, my favourite lady and I attended the Edmonton Roadrunners' Christmas Charity Challenge game last night. Tickets anywhere in Rexall Place were being sold for exactly $4/each with all proceeds going to charity. I quickly scooped up 4 tickets, with the other pair going to Gregg and Jeremy. I had no idea they'd be joining us, and Nicole kept it very secret...which was a nice treat. For the first hockey game I've attended this year, it pretty much had everything I could have hoped for in an AHL game: fights, hits, goals, free sponge noodles, and not only a win, but a win via a nail-biting shootout!

It was the perfect ending to what started out as a fairly bleak final day of the semester.

Currently listening to: Incubus - Aqueous Transmission

The Null Hypothesis

Well, here I am, on the brink of my final final exam of the school term, and things are running much more smoothly than midterms...at least for this particular class. For the midterm I was up almost the entire night/morning, working on an essay which was due that day in a different class. I had less than an hour's sleep, and was actually quite delirious by the end of the midterm. For this final, however, I've *gasp!* studied ahead of time and will be getting at least a few hours of precious shut-eye.

On an unrelated note, I've noticed that my previous post replaced the post that was there before it, so I'm not really all that sure what Blogger is up to...

Currently: Preparing to play LOTR: BfME for 30 minutes...honest!

Preparing for War

At 90% completed (or 3564.2 MB of 4035.5) and only 6h50min to go, the epic LOTR: Battle for Middle Earth will soon be mine! Though I'm infinitely excited, the download will complete at a rather inopportune time...as I'm wrapping up studying on one exam and preparing for yet another one on Monday.

This will be an extreme test of will power, my friends. Extreme indeed.

Going back to that massive term paper I handed it last week, I recently received a notice from the UofA library informing me that one, of the many books I borrowed, has not been returned! Where the hell could it have gotten to!?

Currently listening to: The White Stripes - I Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself

Ja-la-pa-no

It's taken years, but I've finally gathered up the necessary ingredients to bake a plate of nachos right here in my very own home. Quite commonplace while I was working at the Keg, not once since have I actually combined tortilla chips, cheese, and jalapenos, and actually baked them in the oven - sure, the occasional nuked plate of nachos, but that's not quite the same.

Tonight marked the culmination of years of anticipation, and I couldn't be more satisfied.

Interesting to note: The Blogger "spell check" suggestion for jalapenos was Calvanist.

Currently listening to: Fahrenheit 9/11 in the background...

Social Butterflies

Partied 4 evenings in a row.

In the past 4 hours I've watched The Day After Tomorrow, studied, and updated my ball hockey stats...that bed is looking absolutely irresistable right now....

...and in another 4 hours I'll be up to hit the books, again!

Your Moment of Zen

What's better than a little humour on a beautiful Friday afternoon? Something tells me that the clip from this 1970's British children's TV show would never slip by today's army of censors:

http://www.rainbow.arch.scriptmania.com/rainbow_tv_episode.html

Currently listening to: AIR - J'ai Dormi Sous l'eau

Manscaping

The City Centre is a realm both mysterious and frightening to me. Though I've lived in Edmonton for 7 years, and near the downtown for about 1.5 years, I've always equated it to the area where I work or an obstacle to be circumvented in the process of getting to where I really want to go. For perhaps the first time ever, I took a few hours the other day to amble about the vast subterranean, ped-wayed metropolis of Commerce Place/City Centre.

My initial suspicions, of it being completely inhabited by bus-taking winos and some breed of Mole People, were almost immediately rejected.

During my travels I decided to get a trim and have a bit of colouring done to my hair, and as I cooked patiently under the dome dryer, picking through the latest Hollywood scandal rag, something interesting actually caught my eye: NYC Garbage. Quite frankly, the idea is totally awesome. I want. I want!

Currently listening to: Zack De La Rocha - We Want It All

Nacho, Nacho Man!

Vending Machine: 0
Homo Sapiens: 1

I've just returned from the lobby of my apartment building, where I was hoping to obtain snacks to appease my post-workout cravings...and something amazing happened! A bag of Doritos was dangling ever so delicately from its distribution row, where I imagine a previous snacker was totally screwed out of their money. It dawned on me that by selecting the Doritos again, I'd obtain 2 bags for the price of 1. Not a bad deal, eh?

But really, one can only eat so many Doritos. I wanted more than just Doritos!

Determined, I prepared to give the machine a jolting shake, though at the slightest disturbance the bag pried itself loose! End result: Doritos and a bag of Miss Vickies for a single Loonie! Carpe diem!

Currently: Watching re-runs of The Daily Show

Oh Curse'd Green Fairy!

Granted, green tea is often a sensible choice when selecting a beverage, and may help with innumerable health-related issues, but 6+ cups in the 5 hours before bedtime is just too much.

I don't have the caffeine jitters - and I'm enjoying a great degree of mental clarity - but I sure as hell would like to fall asleep at a reasonable hour this evening/morning.

Currently: Wishing that I had constructed my Christmas Wishlist at ThinkGeek...

Grand Master Champion of the Universe

Aren't I the walking contradiction. I'm a poor University student who is burdened by the increasing costs of post-secondary education...who just happens to occasionally work on the oil rigs to russle up some much needed cash money to paid for the aforementioned absurd tuition. King Ralph commands policies which both giveth and taketh from my pocketbook. How very cruel indeed.

He did not receive my vote yesterday, and I was pleasantly pleased that the PCs managed to pick up fewer seats this time around. It reminded me, to a certain degree, of our past federal election, where the Liberals maintained power, but after the voting equivalent of a stern talking to. Ralph's still in charge, but his upcoming replacement should be wary. Then again, the political situation in Alberta is much like the continental US, where those hillbillies in the midwest overpower the liberal sensibilities of an entire nation. Yee-haw!

Currently: Installing Pandora Tomorrow

Workers Unite...and be Fired!

Quite the interesting development at good ol' Advanis Field Research. An ex-employee had contacted the postal workers union to solicit the call-centre workers into banding together, and now all sorts of craziness has broken out.

At first everything about the union was hush-hush, relegated to dark alleys and untraceable phone calls, but it didn't take all that long for the souless Corporation to get wind of it. What followed was a flurry of anti-union propaganda posted upon the notice boards, specifically pointing out what a union can't do for you, and what it can take from you. This was quickly countered, in guerilla-like fashion by union recruitment meetings and anonymous pamphlets.

To be honest, I find the entire situation laughable.

What exactly will unionizing the call-centre do, considering it's merely a small component of the much larger Advanis company? Sure, it employs a large number of people, but it also demands a very low level of skill and mental competence. Advanis wouldn't skip a beat if it bussed in "scab" workers to replacing striking ones, so there goes a great deal of the union's bargaining power.

Unbearable working conditions? It's a call-centre, what the hell did you think it would be like!? Be thankful you're not doing sales or on commission. Think you can find another job that permits you to wear spiked, leather clothing and a face-full of piercings, go ahead and find one!

The focus of employees, who choose to work for the company, should be in clawing their way up, to the important positions - not desperately hoping that their already slack job will be supplemented with 5 more minutes of cigarette breaks.

Currently: More pissed at the union reps for calling me every day than anything Advanis has ever imposed upon me.

Soylent Green

Eating healthy is hard work. But if there's one thing that we should all find time for, it's green tea. I absolutely love the stuff, though I often go through long stretches where my intake is virtually nil - and when I finally brew myself up a pot, I ravenously consume it like a junkie in a meth lab. Assuming you're not buying the DDT laced variety, I've been led to believe that it's good for both the mind and body, and after the pyjama party I attended the other evening, my body sure could use some TLC.

It's interesting to me that in the span of a month, I've attended more sleep-over/pyjama parties than I have in, well, over a decade at least. The pyjama party was actually a first for me, and in my opinion, probably the best kind of party to have. It's casual, it's fun, and supremely relaxed. Who wants to get all done-up to go out, when you can simply throw on your flannels and kick-back with a few cold ones? I specially purchased a 3-pack of Hanes v-neck, white, cotton shirts for the occasion, though it's been revealed to me that the low cut is off-puttingly feminine.

With less than 24 hours before I head to the polls for the provincial election, I've finally received a peek of the various parties' platforms. One page in the Edmonton Journal informed me better than weeks of "campaigning" and the Liberal candidate who stopped by our door the other day was kind enough to tell Nicole where we go to cast our ballot. Both the Liberals and NDP had a fair amount of positive solutions, whereas the PCs were non-committal and the Alliance was completely out to lunch. For example, the Alliance proposed free post-secondary tuition to all students who maintained a C average in High School. That's great news for the A-students, who actually meet the entrance requirements, but not so helpful to anyone else...

Alas! More green tea for me!

Currently: Preparing to study for my 2nd last lab quiz. Ha-zah!

Everything to Everyone

While in the midst of re-arranging the apartment, watching NCAA Hockey, eating late-night pizza delivery, and researching my term paper, I've managed to set aside a few minutes to take that Internet Colour Quiz. Well, here's the result:

you are khaki #F0E68C

Your dominant hues are red and green, so you're definately not afraid to get in and stir things up. You have no time for most people's concerns, you'd rather analyze with your head than be held back by some random "gut feeling". Your saturation level is lower than average - You don't stress out over things and don't understand people who do. Finishing projects may sometimes be a challenge, but you schedule time as you see fit and the important things all happen in the end, even if not everyone sees your grand master plan. Your outlook on life is bright. You see good things in situations where others may not be able to, and it frustrates you to see them get down on everything.

the spacefem.com html color quiz

Looks like we're both khaki, Dean.

On another note, since getting a membership to the YMCA last week, I've now gone to the gym more times in that span than nearly 6 years at the University - where access to the facilities was already tacked onto and paid through my tuition fees.

Currently listening to: Green Day - Boulevard of Broken Dreams

Fifty-Mission Cap

Now that was one fine concert, and the whole thing with sitting in a stationary seat wasn't all that strange either. To be absolutely honest, though, our seats were practically perfect - exactly centre with the stage with only one row in front of us, Section 110, Row 13. The Hip had large projection screens on either side of the stage, and the entire backdrop was 4 interlocking screens, displaying images and colours that went along with the music beautifully.

The Hip have always been one of those bands that I enjoyed, but never seemed to pick up their albums...I mean, I only own Phantom Power. It wasn't until the concert last night that it dawned upon me just how many great songs they have, and what a large number of those songs I know. I liken it to CCR, where even if you don't own any of their albums, or can't really recall hearing a myriad of their songs, you'll probably sing along to almost every one of them on the "Best Of" album. What gives the Hip such substance, and recognition, is that many of their songs are timeless, and when they play At The Hundredth Meridian from the early 90's, it sounds just as fresh and lively as Bobcaygeon, which was released nearly a decade later.

So, all in all, it was a memorable Hip performance, not complete concert, as the opening act of Whatisfaceandthatband was, well, bleh. The music rocked, was non-stop, our seats were awesome, and they came out for 3 encores! Most bands today wouldn't have enough decent songs to do such a full set. It was a shame that the concessions (read: beer stands) closed down before the Hip started, and some asshole Dekes were causing a commotion a section over, but those were only minor inconveniences.

I'm glad my sweetie snagged us some tickets!

Currently: Downloading the World of Warcraft open-beta client.

Burning Love

The fun never stops, here at Camp Awesomeness, as Nicole and I prepare to attend the Tragically Hip concert tonight. I've never seen the Hip in concert, ever, so I'm anxious to see what kind of show they put on. I've also never been to a concert where I've had an assigned seat number...the entire premise is foreign to me. To be honest, though, I'm getting too old to thrash around in the mosh pit all night, and security would probably escort me out of the coliseum if I attempted it during New Orleans is Sinking.

It'll also be the first time I've been back to Rexall Place since the Juno Awards, seeing as how there's no Oilers hockey. I imagine I'll be back for a few Roadrunners games, but really, that'll only fulfill my hockey cravings to an insufficient degree.

Currently listening to: Chevelle - Vitamin R

Jackpot!: Addendum

Rocky Mountain House sure is smaller than I'd ever imagined, consisting almost entirely of a dozen hotels, gas stations, and the full spectrum of fast food joints. I assume there might actually be people who live there, thought it's highly likely that they all work in the service industry and perhaps reside in the previously mentioned businesses.

Anyways, as I made my way back in to Edmonton, I made a point of stopping by that enclosed ball hockey rink to have a look see. Apparently it's affiliated with the Scona Community, so there might be people to ask for its usage. There are, much like the rink we played in before, gigantic lights available to light up those dark, winter afternoons. It's not a rink, but a tennis/basketball area, so the size is very agreeable.

I've used copious amounts of hockey tape to shore up my goaltending equipment, so here's to hoping they'll last the winter.

Oh, and on that automotive insurance issue that Gregg was talking about - at least Wawanesa was kind enough to issue you a refund, or some sort of communication. AMA, in it's bureaucratic benevolence, has remained suspiciously mute through this entire modification program. So many ways, to hate AMA.

Currently: Oh so very glad to be home...

Jackpot!

It's almost too good to be true, but I stumbled upon something amazing this afternoon. I was heading home from the University, travelling north-bound from White Avenue on Gateway Boulevard, where a horrendous car accident was blocking traffic before the turn off to head down into the Rivervalley.

The police had set up a detour, which took me close to the New Asian Village, and lo and behold, a beautiful outdoor, enclosed!, ballhockey pad! It looks somewhat like an old tennis court that has been converted for use for the sport we love the most.

Just imagine, no more chasing after errant passes and slap-shots. Insidious plays connected by using the "boards" all around us. I'll make a point of stopping by there tomorrow to determine how we may use the facility, but until then, dare to dream!

Currently: Chowing down on mounds of left-over Hallowe'en candy.

The College Years: 1 Year Later + 18 days

It's almost hard to believe, but exactly 383 days ago I published my first post for this here little blog. On a quiet, late, October night, I nestled down in front of my computer desiring nothing more than to transmit my thoughts through the printed word.

This post was actually started on the exact one year anniversary, but I seem to remember I was too tired to type, opting to hit the sack instead of conjure up some fantastical piece of literary magnificence.

At this time, however, I'm honoured to speak about a far more important one year celebration - the remembrance of the passing on of my Gido. My original post, shortly following his death, can be found here, in the archive. This past Sunday I made my way back down to Two Hills, with most of my family and the rest of the Semeniuk side. We attended a service at the Ukrainian Catholic church, which was slightly foreign to me, as I'm neither Catholic nor comprehend the Ukrainian language. The service, as I imagine most Catholic services to be, was highly ritualized, structured, and honestly, not all that uplifting.

The lunch afterwards, however, more than made up for it. There was enough food there to easily feed a crowd thrice as large, and there was no escaping a whole armada of Babas claiming, "Eat! Eat! You look so thin!" These events are also very strange, in that you stumble across a great deal of people who remember you, yet you have no idea who they are. Old friends of the family, my Pee Wee hockey coach...my old school bus driver from Kindergarten. Heck, you never know who you'll meet! Typically each exchange starts out the same, with the mystery person claiming, "Boy Kris, you sure look a lot like your father! Same haircut, glasses...skinny as a rail!"

I shake hands, smile and nod, and quietly force down another piece of cake.

Currently listening to: Matthew Good - While We Were Hunting Rabbits

Unmitigated Leisure

Certainly not laziness, and far from rampant irresponsibility, I've finally listened to some good advice and made the move to re-prioritize my daily routine.

As we all know, you can't run on all cylinders all the time, which is exactly what I've been doing for the better part of the past 16 months. More specifically, the amount of hours I've been working in the evening, coupled with the hours I've been spending at the University, have left very few hours in the day for pretty much anything else. So you know what, I'm staying home this evening, and I couldn't be happier!

Quite frankly, I've been working my ass off, and it's time to re-charge the ol' mind and body. I've been successful, academically, like I haven't been in years, and it's still something I haven't allowed myself to get comfortable with. Far too often I'll concentrate on the time and money I've invested/wasted on my post-secondary education, or poor decisions I've made in the past, and those negative thoughts will overshadow anything else I'm thinking or doing. That negativity is a big ball of B.S. and I refuse to let past failure define who I am - it's the exception, not the rule.

It may seem like I've veered off the initial point of this post, but it's all quite interconnected. I get down on myself so much for past screw-ups that it dictates how I act in the present and plan for the future, preventing myself from noticing that, Hell, I'm actually doing quite well for myself.

So in lieu of my successes, I'm going to relax, slow down, stop worrying that things won't work out, because whether you're noticing or not, they certainly find a way to.

Currently: Searching online for some lamb recipes...never made lamb before.

Bah!

Well, scratch that...John Kerry has just made his concession speech, and the rest of the world can now look forward to another 4 years of living under the terror of the United States of America.

A composite of the thousands of dead American soldiers from Bush's unjustified war in Iraq, courtesy of MichaelMoore.com

Truly Disturbing

Though all hope is not lost for a Kerry victory, I'm nevertheless wallowing in a state of shock that Bush didn't lose by an absolute landslide. Quite frankly, the American voting public has managed to blow my mind...

CNN, as of 2:13 AM Mountain Time, has Bush at 254 and Kerry at 242. Results are still being tabulated for 4 states: New Mexico, Iowa, Wisconsin, and Ohio.

Currently: experiencing a broad range of emotions from shock to anger to disbelief.

Fall Back...To The Future

Rejoice, boys and girls, we've managed to get an extra hour over the weekend...an hour I enjoyed to the fullest extent possible, passed-out and dehydrated in the warm confines of my bed.

It's been quite a few years since I last dressed up for Hallowe'en, but damned if I wasn't going to do it up right this year. After the initial frustrations of imagination cramps and putting-a-costume-together-at-the-last-minute, Nicole and I eventually settled on the classic undead theme. Pre-existing as a team, it was concluded that our costumes should go together, so we paired up as a quaint, undead, domestic couple. Perhaps physically manifesting our earlier wardrobe frustrations, our costume story was that we had a bit of a "domestic dispute" culminating in my grisly death, and Nicole's subsequent suicide.

My clothes, from brown cords to button-up sweater, were in tatters and soaked in blood, complimenting the slash marks across my face. Nicole's home-maker dress/apron combo was also splattered with blood, accentuating the deep, bloody gashes across her neck and wrists. To say that our costumes were totally awesome would be an absolute understatement. We looked even more gruesome than this adorable thing. Unfortunately, Nicole and I are both notoriously bad for taking pictures, so there is no photographic evidence of our awesomeness.

We attended a house party, jam-packed with all sorts of strange/inebriated/whore-ish characters. Most of the people I didn't know, aside from a handful of Lambda Chi's, both new and old - yet all younger than me. What I'll probably remember most about the evening, was a little potential disaster Nicole and I propagated in the basement while checking out Conor and Drover's pets. They had 2 cages of geckos, and 2 tanks of pirrhanas. Nicole was poking around at one of the tanks, when suddenly the light from the top tumbled into the tank. Almost immediately, I then reached into the pirrhana tank to scoop out the light, fearing that the fish would be electrocuted. You know, oblivious to the fact that; a) the combination of electricity and water could have killed me, b) the pirrhana could have devoured my flesh, or c) the pirrhana could have started eating me just before we were both killed by searing jolts of electrical current.

Through artful manipulation (and timing), we managed to score a free ride (as opposed to a taxi) back to the Lambda Chi house, ordered (and feverishly consumed) pizza and wings while we waited for a cab there, then experienced the double-fortune of scamming another free ride back to our apartment! Amazing! The mind reels at the probability of such an occurrence...

Currently: Gorging on 1/2 price Hallowe'en candy.

Updates

I've updated my Ball Hockey Stats to reflect the games played this Sunday. Summary: "Team Indie" can lick my balls. End communication.

24

Well, well, well...another year has come and gone, and as always, it has passed far too quickly. It's late, and I'd like to crawl into bed. The past few days certainly have been eventful, and here are just a few highlights:

- tried spicy ginger buffalo and warm sake at The Eastbound Eatery
- woke up to an instant-Winter Wonderland
- finally received my cheap-o mp3 player from Telus
- was informed that Alex is now officially betrothed to Jeremy
- got 2 of the most amazing birthday presents ever; The Da Vinci Code and my own hockey card poster
- ate more devilled eggs in 12 hours than in the past 12 months

I'll certainly be posting more on these fine points, among others, in the next few days. I've got midterm exams and papers due next week, so I'll be a busy, indisposed man for the next 7 days, but I'll try and find time to post. If anything, I'll need to do it to maintain my own sanity.

Currently: Trying desperately to revive my precious mini-orange tree

This Man Is a Criminal...

I was thinking that my Last 10 Watched listing has now been rendered un-updateable now that I've got dozens upon dozens of movies at my fingertips every month. Maybe I'll just dedicate it to movies that I either rent or see in the theatre - you know, the ones that I actually pay for...

Channels 750 thru 756

So in anticipation of the Matthew Good concert Nicole and I will be attending this Wednesday, I decide it would be a good idea to pick up his latest album, White Light Rock & Roll Review. Concerts are always great when you can sing along with the band and rock out to the fullest extent possible. The trouble with the new album, however, is that aside from Alert Status Red the other 11 songs are entirely forgettable. The album really didn't come together as a whole, and Nicole summed it up best when she remarked, "It's like he just had one song and then had to throw an album together."

You see...you SEE!? This is why I haven't bought albums in forever! What happens as soon as I shell out my cold, hard cash? I get screwed by the music industry, that's what. If the courts hadn't been so effective in shutting down Kazaa Lite I wouldn't be in jam. To be completely fair, though, I 've only listened to the album once, so maybe it will grow on me, kinda like Bush: The Golden State eventually did. I also picked up the new Green Day album, and that wasn't all that bad.

We had ourselves a quiet Thanksgiving long-weekend. Already this month my sister has thrown two large family get-togethers, and to be completely honest, those large crowds get a tad overwhelming. Both sets of parents indisposed, we were forced to fend for ourselves, and I must say, put together a rather fantastic meal this evening. We didn't go hungry, that's for sure, but if you're reading this Mom, I won't say no to a half a fridge of turkey and stuffing left-overs. Thinking back on the past year, I certainly have a lot to be thankful for, and every day's come as a greater blessing than the last. When I contemplate all I've got, the minor inconveniences and passing tribulations of daily life don't tend to carry much weight.

I've got my health, my family, and the woman I love...and beyond that, really, all those other nice things are just additional perks.

Currently listening to: Green Day - Jesus of Suburbia

Dy-no-mite!

Saw Napolean Dynamite this evening. It totally rocked.

Currently: Uninstalling that damn Norton Security Suite from my HD.

Absolutely Delicious

The good eats just keep on continuing. The birthday celebration/feast at Jasmine's birthday party was followed up by an equally impressive evening of gluttony for Nicole's sister's birthday. The event was held at the New Asian Village, an establishment which serves some of the finest East Indian cuisine in the city.

This was the first time I'd ever been to the place, though I have had their food before. Several months ago, before Nicole and I discovered the joys of cooking our own meals here at home, we called Dial and Dine to pick us up some eats. Seeing as how I'd always eaten my fill of East Indian cuisine for free, this marked the first time I'd ever dished out money for it. The food was delicious, though the price to feed just the two of us was a bit extravagant.

On this evening, however, we discovered the joy of their buffet. Though there weren't many items, all the essential dishes were present - everything from tandoori chicken, to aloo gobi, to butter chicken, to curried lamb. The only thing better than eating these things, is being able to eat as much as humanly possible.

Their "cooler of 250 beers" was not only innovative, but probably one of the coolest things I've ever seen in a restaurant. Whenever you desired, you could walk up to the cooler (which took up a whole wall), pick a bottle from their vast selection of international beers, and bring it on back to the table! I had myself a delicious Danish Tuborg and a Steam Whistle from Ontario. What more can I say, it totally reeked of awesomeness.

I highly recommend the place, if you even remotely enjoy Eastern food. The restaurant has an authentic atmosphere and, even if just for a few hours, tricks the senses into thinking you're enjoying a leisurely bite to eat in Bombay, and not the grey, concrete streets of chilly Edmonton.

Next up is Thanksgiving, more birthdays, Christmas, New Years...man oh man, I'm sure gonna pack on the pounds this Winter, that's for sure!

Currently: Attempting to master Adobe Photoshop and Illustrator to effectively design business card logos.

Uncomfortable Silence

Boy oh boy did I manage to have myself a busy weekend. Weekends are meant to be a time of rest and relaxation, aren't they? Well, if they are then it feels like I went out of my way to ensure that these two days were action-packed to the max.

Things kicked off Saturday morning as I attempted to continue my little experiment of waking up at the same time every morning...for the rest of my life. At this point in the experiment, I've arbitrarily picked 07:00 as that time. While certainly an admirable goal to strive towards, I find it a fascinating exertion of my will power (or lack thereof). Anyways, I trotted on down to Advanis to work a shift from 10:00 - 17:00, after which I hurried on home to get spiffied up for my niece Jasmine's birthday party.

Quite frankly, the evening was pure pandemonium. Gatherings with my family tend to be a bit out of control, what with 6 ankle-biters now in the picture, but said gatherings at my sister Debbie's house take things to a whole new level. People from India know how to party, and her husband isn't shy about inviting everyone and anyone over for the evening. Now, I like being in a small house with 40 complete strangers as much as the next guy, but Lord have mercy on people like my sweet Nicole, who's not only surrounded, but most likely bombarded by kids as well. Just as we had just about had enough, the crowd dissipated, and the family was able to enjoy a few moments of comparable tranquility before departing - until the next celebration/collision.

A few more hours of sleep and another attempt at rising at 07:00 later, I was back out the door to participate in the Run for the Cure. It's the 2nd time I've participated, and hopefully many more are to follow. I've never fancied myself to be a runner, heck, even walking to the corner store makes me grumble, but it sure is nice to challenge yourself once in a while. I entered into the 5km run, which started promptly at 10:00 in the near-freezing morning air. I wore my full-body Helly Hanson thermal underwear under my sweats and shirt, and it sure didn't take long before things started to get nice and warm. The sheer volume of people made the start very slow, and you were forced to pretty much walk the first block or so before you found some gaps. I finished in 28 minutes and 3 seconds, without having to break my pace once. Not since Phys. Ed. and the dreaded 20-Minute Runs have I carried on in such a foolish manner.

As if that wasn't enough physical punishment for one day, I then proceeded to play 3 games of ball hockey with the boys. It was a momentous occasion, as I decided to wear a cup for the first time - not a bad idea when you're a goalie. I never got to see if it would help out, but I did watch Jason get bagged by a ball during warm-up shots. That alone made me thankful I had something awkwardly covering 2/3 of my genitals. There were goals, there were saves, and Mike's slapshot in the last game damn near broke my blocker arm. Fun times.

Sweaty and exhausted, I made my way back home to discover that Nicole and I had been invited to her sister's place for dinner and a movie, so I finally showered up and headed back out the door yet again. What followed was a delicious dinner (filled with so many of those "vegetables" her family is so keen on), a visit with their cuddly matrimonial offspring, and a viewing of perhaps the 2 worst movies to come out this year: Walking Tall and Eurotrip. One should always be wary of any movie that stars a professional wrestler, and, for the most part, modern teenage angst movies are trite rubbish. Compared to the gems that they pumped out in the 80's, teens these days just don't know how bad they got it. On a positive note, there were several extended scenes of beach-bronzed male phalluses, which should have delighted female movie-goers so frequently forced to endure female nudity. To my and all males subsequent chagrin, these were not matched with extended scenes of bottomless females, however.

Phew. I'm getting tired just typing all this stuff out. So yeah, it was a very busy weekend, and the weeks to come are just jam-packed with more events, birthdays, and holidays. So here I sit, sore legs and throbbing arm, typing out my Blog far beyond my planned bedtime...enjoying the uncomfortable silence of a post-late-night-Queen Donair binge.

Currently: Thinking of organs to sell to off-set my education costs.

El Presidente

I was at work all evening, ironically calling Americans, so I was unable to watch the Presidential Debate. I was enheartened to discover, at the time, that many people I called were in the process of watching the debate.

As I said, I didn't watch the program, but I'm operating under the assumption, no, gut instinct, that Bush carried on in his usual despicable manner, and Kerry stood around with that Franken-grin of his. At the very least the head-to-head sparring match should have made it very clear that Bush should not be allowed back into the White House. This fact is so evident that I practically regard it as a Universal Law.

But no...polls following the debate show that 4 more years under Bush's reign of terror are expected to continue in November. Whereas Gregg provided a thoughtful criticism of American politics, my two cents can currently be summed up as follows: What the fuck does this war monger, Bush, have to do for the voting public to turn him away and what the fuck can possibly be going through a voter's mind when then think casting their ballot for him is the proper thing to do? What the fuck are the priorities of the American mindset?

One President lies about receiving a blow-job and they rise up to impeach him. The next one lies to start a war which kills 1,000 of their children and shepherds the populace under a state of constant fear...yet they reward him.

America under President Bush is an affront to peace and humanity, and I feel empathy for not only our neighbours to the south, but for all the peoples of the world.

Currently: Reading positive reviews of George W. Bush in a state of utter disbelief.

I Bent My Wookie

Having Nate's combusticated computer laying on the floor next to me, has really made me appreciate this little eMachine I've got. Sure, by the time I replaced the speakers, mouse, keyboard, upgraded the graphics card and quadrupled the RAM, it might be said that it's not really the same computer I originally bought, but it sure as hell is more flexible than that damn Acer ever was, and 1/4 the MSRP.

I've stayed my mp3 collecting addiction by feeding that obsessive compulsive part of my brain with game downloads. Once I truly discovered where to go and how to install cracked game ISO's, it's opened a whole new realm for me. Truth be told, it all started with Return to Castle Wolfenstein. It was with this game that I first realized my computer was much more powerful than I thought, as I was capable of playing it on the highest quality settings. Since then, I've added a few more games to my collection:

- Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2005
- Star Wars: Battlefront
- Rome: Total War
- Call of Duty
- Medal of Honor
- Unreal Tournament 2004
- Grand Theft Auto: Vice City
- The Sims 2
- Warhammer 40k: Dawn of War
- Doom III

These are in excess of the various programs I've downloaded, from Microsoft Office 2003 Professional to Adobe Creative Suite. My HD is quickly filling to capacity, so maybe I should add a few more gigs of storage space to my birthday wishlist.

I've been playing Star Wars quite a bit lately, as there's nothing quite as rewarding as sniping Jar Jar Binks in the eye from 100 yards away or setting fire to a village of screaming Ewoks.

Currently: Making a vow to try and wake up @ 7am every morning!

Testing, Testing...

...this post is of no importance. My blog seems to be publishing funny in Firefox, so I'm just screwing around.

I Fought The Law...

...and the law won. Apparently, intent to try and do the right thing is not sufficient for any degree of leniency. Well, that's not correct. The judge gave me until May 2005 to pay $172 for not turning right. The first dozen or so people before me were up for driving without insurance, and that carries a minimum fine of $2850, for the first offence, and increases dramatically from there. By the time it got to me, I almost felt kind of silly asking for time to pay my comparably insignificant fine.

The experience as a whole, however, was actually an interesting one. I had pleaded not guilty (as I rightly believed I had a reasonable explanation for trying to get out of that traffic situation) so the case went to trial. First the police officer took the stand and gave his statement. I then had the opportunity to ask the officer questions, but his statement pretty much verified what I was already going to say: was in right-turn lane, signaled to get out, turned into left lane once light turned green. Since he was using those facts to base his charges against me, my attempt to use the same facts to plead my innocence was severely hampered.

It was then my turn to take the stand, got to state my name, swear on the Bible and everything! They didn't tell me which hand to place on it, but movies have assured me that it's the right. Actually, they first ask you if you're willing to swear on the Bible, and you can say yes or no. I gave my little rendition of the events, the prosecution asked me why I didn't just turn right and circle around the block, and I countered that LRT construction was causing havoc in the area (detours, etc.) it was rush-hour, and I had no idea where I'd end up.

The judge commended me on how well-spoken my statement was, but in the end, upheld the fine. She took sympathy on my inflexible student budget, and granted me time to pay, which was much more courteous than throwing me in jail for 3 days.

Currently listening to: Our Lady Peace - Naveed

No NHL? No Problem!

It feels like it's been ages, but I finally managed to put in a few ball hockey games with the guys. It's hard to believe, but with the 3 (well, 2.5) games we played today, I'm only up to game 14! That's not really all that much hockey - no wonder it always feels like I'm a bit rusty between the pipes.

It was a great day to be outside, especially after the nasty weather we've had all week. Who would have predicted that the weekend would turn out so beautifully? When the dust settled, though, I was 2-1 for the day, and loved every minute of it. We even had an audience, as some awesome dad stopped by with his 3 boys to sit and watch the action.

Not nearly as quaint, however, was the fact that my car was vandalized over-night. I had left it parked outside Nate's place, not far from where my old apartment used to be. I'm not quite sure what happened, but it almost looks like someone side-swiped it. It's nothing too severe, but my driver's side mirror is now busted (it looked horrible before Jeremy snapped it back into place) and scratch marks are visible almost the entire length of the vehicle. Disrespectful bastards! It's like your mom always says, whenever you have something nice, someone else will find a way to steal it or break it. I don't miss living in that damn neighbourhood, that's for sure...

Currently: Drying off after having a shower to try and clean that goaltender equipment "funk" off my skin.

LOTR: Return of Blockbuster Video II

Who says my life doesn't entertain a certain degree of continuity? While out the other evening to Safeway to pick up a few groceries for lunches, I decided it was about time to bury the hatchet between myself and Blockbuster Video. This pertains to an incident that dates back to December 04, 2003.

As you may recall, I had discovered to my horror that the game LOTR: Return of the King was still in my possession, though I believed I had returned it a month previous. Upon receiving their wayward game, they were kind enough to waive the $100 replacement fee, and most of the late charges - all that remained was a little over $20 owed to them - and I hadn't been back since.

Was it cowardice? Miserliness? Stubbornness?

Draw your own conclusions, but I figured nearly 10 months was more than enough time to allow Blockbuster to think seriously about what they'd done, in allowing me to rent a game that was obviously so amazing that even my own mind conspired against me to possess it. Indeed, it was my precious...

Currently: Trying to get "The Sims" working on my computer

Reading, 'riting, and 'rythmetic

Woe is me, returning to the hallowed halls of the University of Alberta yet once again. Though I'm actually quite excited to be tackling the books, I'm less than impressed with all the people that have filled the place! Over the past 4 months I began to become accustomed to the place being virtually empty: line-ups were non-existent, pedestrian traffic was free-flowing, and gawdy first-years weren't lounging around the place in bar clothes, obviously incapable yet of breaking free of their High School propensities.

What should have been a few minutes of running around, painfully turned to hours. Just this once I actually decided to purchase some of my texts during the first week of class, and this I solemnly vow: NEVER AGAIN.

Bah!

Currently: Hastily getting ready to head back out for 7 hours of working for The Man.

NyQuil and Sudafed

Certainly not to the same extent as in this scenario, but hey, anything to try and feel better, eh? I still maintain that the pool and/or hot tub and/or sauna in the building is responsible for my diseased state, though my better half insists that the sheer medical theory behind such a scenario disproves such a ludicrous idea. Science be damned! It's not my fault that I'm sick, so someone/thing has to take the blame, and that thing resides on the 3rd floor of this complex.

You've probably been noticing that my posts over the past month have been sporadic and erratic at best. At first I reasoned that it was due to various demands on my time - moving, exams, work - but I've since come to realize that it's due to my new living arrangements. On more than one occasion, this Blog was used to entertain and inform not only my friends and family, but specifically that special lady in my life. Now that Nicole and I are living under one roof, it's akin to using the phone to communicate between the living room and kitchen. Not that such an arrangement wouldn't be fun, in a Secret Ops kind of way, but direct conversation does afford a greater degree of satisfaction. I'm sure she's infinitely pleased to be the initial audience of all my fantastical tales of daring-do.

Currently listening to: The Beastie Boys - Shazam!

To The 5 Boroughs

One final exam to go, and I'm done with University for an entire 3 weeks, before heading back in September for the final, long-anticipated, and infamous final stretch of my University undergraduate career.

Upon returning home from work this afternoon, I'll be diving head-first into an Anthropology of Religion take-home final exam/paper, which is worth an impressive 40% of my final grade in the course. My experience with Sociology and Anthropology is that Anthropology has turned out to be what I thought Sociology was about, and Sociology has turned out to be something resembling quantum mathematics and infinintesimal algebraic theory. While enjoying both, it tends to be with Anthropology that my literary skills of bull-shitism and wild, unfounded, and imaginative declarations vexes the instructors into assigning me a high grade.

Having said that, though, I had a uniquely unexpected experience before writing a final exam this morning. As the professor was handing out the exam, he brought up the grades for our term project (the one I handed in on Monday after staying awake for over 30 hours) and was polite enough to announce that I had received the highest grade and received a monetary award for my proficiency! Never before have I received money from a professor for a job well done; bribes tend to flow from student to teacher, as I understand it. It was also unsettling, because it took a good 10 minutes before my elation cleared and I was able to actually focus on writing the exam at hand.

So, as I type this in the confines of Nicole and I's new, unsettled apartment, I'm enjoying a cold beer on the patio and pat on the back for continuing the reversal of a post-secondary education that was formerly beyond abysmal.

Currently listening to: Yellowcard - Life of a Salesman

I-Haul

Okay, the time has come at last! Here's the details on my moving plans.

Friday, July 30
I'll only have the U-Haul from 07:30 to 16:00, and once everything is cleared out of Nicole's and then my apartment, It'll all need to unloaded again into a self-storage locker.

Saturday, July 31
If I am unable to borrow the services of someone with a pick-up truck, I'll need to rent one in order to haul the larger items out of the storage locker and into the apartment. I have the elevators booked from 11:00 to 15:00. Since we have the storage locker for an entire month, smaller boxes and items that fit in my car can gradually be moved it.

So guys, if you can help out at all, even for a few hours, please don't hesitate to give me a call and let me know. For the most part it will only be my dad and I doing the moving, and he's got a pretty bad back - I'd hate to put him out of commission for a few days.

My phone should remain hooked-up during this time, so I hope to hear from you!

Currently: Finishing up last minute packing and cleaning.

Uncle Skinner Wants You!

Hey, hey! It's getting to be that time of the year again - moving day!

That's right, folks. I would greatly appreciate a few helping hands on July 30, July 31, or both! I'll be renting a 17' U-Haul for the Friday, and I hope to pack up most of Nicole's apartment, and then mine, freeing up the Saturday morning for last-minute cleaning. I'll be able to start moving into the new apartment after 12:00pm.

For those of you who drink beer, well, I'll provide the beer! For those of you who prefer alternative refreshments, I'll help you out there as well. Depending upon how many of you show up, there might even be a nice meal somewhere in the deal.

So if you can help out at all during those days, even though it would nullify your long-weekend, I would be extremely grateful.

Currently: Enjoying some Chinese food leftovers

So I Says to Mabel, I Says...

Hot enough for you? Hooo-weee! This humid weather is almost getting to be too much, you know, with the abundance of swass (or "sweaty ass") plaguing the City of Champions.
 
I updated my reading list in the right column. I've polished off LOTR: The Two Towers while manning the phones at work, and with LOTR: The Return of the King, I'll be completing the trilogy for the 3rd time. I'm still slogging my way through Les Miserables, and I've decided to give War and Peace a 9th chance...here's hoping I at least get beyond the preface this time!
 
On Sunday Nicole and I headed down to Camrose, which I discovered is referred to as "The Rose City," though I didn't recognize "rose" was half of the city name until that point. Shades of the IHOP -> International House of Pancakes scenario with George in Vancouver. Anyways, their new-old house has a backyard to die for, and a hottub to kill for.
 
Which makes it almost as dangerous as our lovely new apartment!
 
Currently: Cramming in the final gooey nuggets of Religious Anthropology before the midterm.

Very Informative

Yet another example of how American politics offers a much more fertile field of comedic expression. Funny stuff!
 
www.jibjab.com
 
Currently: Studying for Sociology midterm...

By The Numbers

I was flipping through the latest issue of Maclean's, when I came across an interesting set of numbers:

461,068 hot dogs
96,272 corn dogs
1.8 million mini donuts
76,652 hamburgers
3,475 litres of ketchup
12,864 cobs of corn
26,000 steaks (10oz.)
45,549 kg of potatoes
21,000 tubs of popcorn
49,342 clouds of cotton candy
29,563 slices of pizza
154,912 bottles of water
93,636 kg of ice cubes
50,271 candy apples

These are the numbers for the Calgary Stampede, indicating the unbelievable amount of carnie-food that will be consumed over the course of 10 days. Quite frankly, I think these numbers are a bit low, as Nicole, George, and myself alone consumed nearly half this amount in 2 days! Between the ice cream, mini donuts, funnel cake, candy apples, debi manjoos, corn dogs, pop, water, beer, and lunch buffet, it was a truly disturbing sight.

My only regret is that I never made good on my promise to have the deep-fried Snickers on a stick! That funnel cake that George got was more than enough to lubricate my innards and negatively impact my health...

Currently listening to: Fuel - Innocent

Slaughterhouse: 1508

In 3 weeks I'll be changing my place of residence, forsaking the untamed wilderness of 107th's "Avenue of Nations" and inching ever so closer to the River Valley. Nicole and I have managed to stumble upon an attractive suite in Renaissance Place.

Yes, ...that Renaissance Place.

I used to think it was quaint that we were moving into a building where a man I knew of, Gary Prime, was brutally murdered in his own suite by hatchet wielding maniacs. When we first checked out the building, I even joked that, "If we're shown a suite at the end of the hall, we're not taking it!"

But now, with yet another brutal murder in the same upscale building in the past 3 years, we're living in one of the deadliest buildings in Edmonton - which makes our new place even better! I can picture great Hallowe'en parties already...

Currently: Packing a few items for our weekend getaway.

Sexy Scott

This post is especially for you...so there's no need to keep trying to call me at home, since my spare time these days is measured in minutes and not hours.

I'm not going to forget about you, buddy.

It looks like we'll be leaving Saturday morning/early-afternoonish. Probably around 10am or so. If you'd like a ride into Calgary, just be sure to be in the city before then. You could hitch a ride in on Friday night, or really early on Saturday.

We will, however, be coming back to Edmonton late Sunday evening, so if you want to catch Finger Eleven on Monday night, you'll probably need to catch a Greyhound home.

If you need a place to stay Friday or Sunday, I've got a love seat with your name on it!

Currently: Using the horrible DELL computers in the flooding Rutherford Library

One Fish, Two Fish...

...Red Fish, Blue Fish. Except, well, that the first one was blue, and the second one is red.

Blinky 2.0, as I've affectionately named the second Betta I've owned in an eventual unbroken line of fighting fish stretching beyond time and space, is actually quite amazing. His predecessor lasted a mere 10 days, yet he's continued on for a solid 6 months, if not longer!

He does all these amazing tricks, like floating upside down and being buried under rocks and even swimming on his side!

I was very surprised to see him alive after I left town for nearly 10 days, but he seems more alive now than ever before! Whenever I seem to think he's dead, and prepare to give 'em the ol' flush funeral, he jolts back to life with a renewed vigor that buys him another week. You've got to admire that stubborn desire to live. This fish has more lives than George W. Bush has brain cells, and was a hell of a bargain at $3.49!

Currently: Eating bag of homemade chocolate chip cookies

Extra Protection

It's the second day of classes and already things have started at a brisk pace. After the first day alone, I had close to 100 pages of reading to do! My schedule is set up rather nicely, though, with a 2+ hour gap between my two classes - just long enough to give me time to study or hit the gym, and just short enough to keep me from leaving the University.

Though not wallowing in my own financial crapulence by any means, my 8-day stint with Tri-City has afforded me a bit of dreaming room. Canadian Tire has a particular set of goaltender pads which has piqued my interest. Coupled with a new blocker/catcher set, these elegant 34" pads will certainly cover a few more holes in the net. My first priority at the moment, however, is covering the moving expenses for the new apartment Nicole and I will be moving in to, especially a new barbecue for our gigantic River Valley-viewing patio! The new goalie equipment, however, is certainly a close second.

This upcoming weekend we plan to drive on down to Cowtown to enjoy the Stampede, which is infinitely better than Klondike Days, though we won't be leaving until Saturday morning. In the meantime, we're looking for a place to stay...sooooo, George does your Uncle mind a few transients in his place over the weekend? If not, Nicole has a cousin we might be able to stay with, but your diseased company would be much more fun.

And yes, Scott, if you pitch in a few dollars for gas, we could probably bring you along, but you'll be missing Finger Eleven is they're playing on Friday.

Currently listening to: Beastie Boys - Ch-Check It Out

I Can See Thru Time

It's July 2 already, eh? Where in the world does time fly.

Seeing as how I finished Spring Session at the University of Alberta, and mighty successfully too!, you'd think that I'd enjoy the 16 days I had off until Summer Session started up.

Pfffttt...!

Though it was only for 8 days, I've been out by Lloydminster working for Tri-City Drilling to stockpile a little extra cash. It was 8 shifts of graveyard work, from 19:30-07:30, so my internal clock is entirely out of whack.

Sleep, need sleep soooo badly.

Currently: Amazed that Blinky 2.0 is still alive after not being fed all this time!

Murphy's Law

You've got to be be fucking kidding me! I've mentioned in my previous post that I'm in the midst of a compacted final exam schedule, and time is an absolutely precious commodity. This would then mean that I've got to make the most of each moment I have.

I managed to get a solid 4 hours of sleep last night, make it to my 08:00 Anthropology final exam, which was 3 hours long, and rush home as quickly as possible to put the finishing touches on my take-home exam, which has to be handed in at 18:00 at the University. That gives me 5 hours to perfect my masterpiece, ensuring that I maintain my 4.0 GPA in that class.

Within moments, nay, seconds of sitting down at my computer, the car alarm on my asshole neighbor's car begins to go off! What makes this even worse, is that his car is parked directly beside my windows, a mere few feet away.

It's Murphy's Law - the moment I have something vitally important to do, all hell breaks loose.

It's that annoying alarm too, that changes tones every few seconds.

I guess the only solace I can take is that this asshole doesn't appear to be home, and his car battery will be long dead by the time I head back to the University. If it's not, then I'll personally heave a few bricks through his windshield.

Currently listening to: You guessed it...that damn car alarm!

Terrifying, In That "Good" Way

So, here I am again - final exam season. With the compacted schedule of Spring/Summer session, this season is a mere 2 days, but it's no less stressful and demanding.

I've got a take-home final exam due Friday evening at 18:00, and an in-class final Friday morning at 08:00. The sheer amount of time compartmentalization I'll be pulling off over the next 48 hours will be astounding:

Wednesday
21:00 to 21:05 - receive take-home final exam
22:00 to ??:?? - start working on take-home final

Thursday
??:?? to ??:?? - sleep for a few hours
??:?? to 14:00 - study for in-class final
15:00 to 22:00 - work
23:00 to ??:?? - sleep for a few hours

Friday
??:?? to 07:00 - study for in-class final
08:00 to 10:00 - write in-class final
11:00 to 14:00 - finish/touch up take home final
15:00 to 22:00 - work

Things get a bit more ugly if I try to juggle my work schedule. If I cancel my Thursday shift to study, then I need to work my Friday shift, meaning I won't have Friday afternoon to touch up my take-home final, and I'll have to hand it in almost 5 hours before the 18:00 due time. If I work on Thursday it gives me less time to study for my in-class final but more time on Friday to work on my take-home final...

...bah! This is hurting my brain already! I shouldn't be wasting my precious time doing this blog anyways! I'd better get cracking!

Currently listening to: Own heart palpitations during this time of perpetual, adrenaline-fuelled stress.

These Deadly Halls

Seriously, I think the University of Alberta is trying to kill me. I arrived this afternoon for my Physical Anthropology lab, which was located on the main floor of the Henry Marshall Tory Building. As I rounded the corner of the final hall, I was greeted by a half dozen people sporting bio-hazard safety suits, respirators and all.

"What the fu...!?"

Right next to the door to my lab, they had a sealed plastic working area, and hoses running up into the ceiling. Apparently, they were there to remove asbestos from the building. I dunno, maybe it's just me, but for all the money I pay in tuition, is it too much to ask that the classrooms I'm learning in won't case me bodily harm? Is that really such an unreasonable request?

Currently: Putting the final touches on my term paper extraordinaire!

Chicken Day

Despite knowing that this crap will ultimately shorten my life-span, despite the revealed horrors of fast food in films like Supersize Me and books like Fast Food Nation, I cannot, and will not give up Toonie Twosday at Kentucky Fried Chicken. For $2.22 you get to indulge in 2 pieces of the Colonel's finest artery clogging fowl and small fry. Amazing! You can hardly buy raw chicken that cheaply at the grocery store, even before people cowered in fear from the Avian Flu.

So, as I sit here, finishing up two meals, I am one contented person. Thank God this special only happens once a week, because it takes about that long before you can even think about doing it again. Blech...

Currently gorging myself on horribly delicious "food."

Midterm Double Deuce

You can always tell when a university student has a large load of urgent and pressing assignments to finish or exams to prepare for - their living quarters are decidedly cleaner than at any other point in time.

As I put the finishing touches on a take-home midterm exam and conclude studying for another midterm exam occurring in less than 12 hours, my apartment has become quite an inviting place indeed. Gone are the overflowing garbage cans and piles of dirty dishes which perfumed the air with the scents of bachelor living. Clean is the living room and kitchen and even bathroom. Hell, I went so far as to actually scrub the bathtub and rid it of 10 months of compounded grime!

Seeing as how the take-home midterm had to be typed, it took an enormous strength of will to actually concentrate on it and not browse laxly through websites, download music and movies, or whittle the hours away playing online games. Blogging, however, is exempt from the realm of "procrastinating" as it enables me to collect my thoughts, regain my sanity, and re-double my efforts on the task at hand...

...the task at hand being to locate tonight's episode of The Sopranos for downloading.

Currently listening to: Matthew Good - While We Were Hunting Rabbits

Anthropological Haiku

Young leaf, potent oak.
Her wild, fallen temple dives.
Swift tibia, blunt blossom.
~~~
Path thin and leaping,
Contending by the egret;
Mournful, gnarled vertebra.
~~~
Never free, but hard,
The man knows no sad spirits.
Gladdened, he studies.

Currently listening to: Saves The Day - Collision

These Old Bones

Ah, another precious long-weekend has come and gone, and if my next "holiday" is anything like this last one, I'll be in traction before I'm 25!

When Mom left me an urgent message on my answering machine to call her back right away I was actually naive enough to drop everything I was doing, as any good son should, to assuage her panicked state. Her tone was far different during my inquiring call, however, and I quickly discovered it was a clever (and successful) ploy to retain my services for a Saturday's worth of back-breaking labour back in Vegreville. Not wanting to suffer alone, I convinced Nicole to accompany me down Highway 16, to the heart of Pyrogy County, under the unassuming guise of a little landscaping - though she insists that she was recruited for a little gardening.

What ensued was an afternoon so labourious and intensive that a full-scale terra-forming of the lunar surface would have paled in comparison.

It was a back-yard-cobble-stone-sidewalk-project which would have killed inferior specimens of the human species, but Nicole and I persevered, though the pain and partial paralysis of today has probably made us both wish we hadn't. Who would have thought that hours upon hours of being hunched over and rubber-mallotting interlocking bricks with Tetris-like precision would have exacted such a toll on our young bodies!?

There were moments today when lying on the solid living room floor was pure Heaven, and the mere thought of sitting up was enough to send spasms of pain through the length of my bruised and abused body. I want to end the life of all those HGTV renovation show programmers who've corrupted my parent's minds with deceptively evil do-it-yourself projects.

On a more positive note, I did take an overflowing basket of laundry back home with me, so as I lay immobilized on my floor, counting and cataloging the speckles on my ceiling, it will be with the clear conscience of knowing that I'm at least wearing clean underwear.

Currently listening to: Sam Roberts - This Wreck of a Life

Break-neck Pace

I had a boss who used to joke that when he was younger he did go to school, "In the front door...then right out the back one." Ever attended Spring/Summer classes at University? It goes by so fast it's a marvel to behold. They essentially take a 4 month course and compress it into 6 weeks! Here's a sample of my calendar. Keep in mind that this is only for 2 courses:

May 26 - Project #1
May 27 - Lab Midterm Exam
May 31 - Midterm Exam
May 31 - Midterm Exam
June 02 - Abstract for Oral Presentation
June 07 - Oral Presentation
June 09 - Project #2
June 15 - Lab Final Exam
June 18 - Final Exam
June 18 - Final Exam

Whew...that's tiring just to type out! I'm then free for 16 whole days before the next semester fires up. So, if over the course of the next few weeks I don't return your calls or show up to your birthday, or whatever, know that it's probably because it's occurring before, during, or after one of the dates listed above.

Currently: Envisioning astonishing academic success at great personal/social sacrifice...

That Dairy Queen's A Bitch

I've been supremely mislead by the machinations of corporate advertising. I know, I know, you might be shocked to hear this as well, but the product I've seen advertised in no way lived up to my expectations.

It’s new. It’s hot. It’s spicy. It’s something different from Dairy Queen®.

It’s the FLAMETHROWER™ Burger on the Dairy Queen menu just in time for National Hamburger Month in May. The FlameThrower™ is made with two all-beef patties, whole leaf lettuce and sliced tomato, and topped with zesty Jalapeño bacon, spicy Pepper Jack cheese and tangy Tabasco Chipotle mayonnaise.

Though still a tasty burger, by no means should Tabasco be considered a flavouring of cataclysmic consequences. Are there really people out there who recoil at the extremeness of zesty Jalapeño bacon? And while we're at it, just what the fuck is "zesty" supposed to mean? It's kinda like "tangy," in that neither of the words means a damn thing. Do you know the difference between zesty and tangy? If I put pepper on a banana, does that make it zesty!? They're both fabrications of the food in dustry to facilitate selling mediocre products with exciting descriptions.

However, the bottom line is that I did not whimper in fear at the burger, did not torch my surroundings with an ultra cool napalm breath, and certainly did not think that I finally found a restaurant item which lived up to the claim of being insanely hot.

Currently listening to: The Weakerthans - Aside

Intersection of Hooker St. and Hobo Ave.

Ah, what a glorious section of the city I live in. The Avenue of Nations, it's called, and judging by the rent I pay, you'd think it was a gated community with servants and beach-front villas down in the tropics.

But no, the only people around who accept money for giving you a hand are gangly hookers, and that's not the sound of the ocean you're hearing, but stolen grocery carts being wheeled down the back alley at 6:00am.

What really gets me, though, is the no-holds-barred mobilization of the Police in this part of town. I pulled up to my apartment to run in and use the phone before heading back out...I couldn't have been on the phone for more than a minute. When I came back outside, a car had been pulled over near the end of my alley, swarmed by 5 squad cars and a paddy wagon! Either I hadn't been paying attention when I first pulled in, or this massive scene of Edmonton's finest simply materialized spontaneously out of errant atoms and kinetic energy.

They had one guy in cuffs and another two lined up along a building, but a dozen officers for 3 people seems a bit much. Meanwhile, the hookers watched on in patient professionalism, eager to reclaim their turf once the boys in blue vacated.

Currently listening to: Saves The Day - My Sweet Fracture

Mr. Mach: Slumlord at Large

Relatives gone down to Toronto, eh George!? What perfect timing! Nicole and I are thinking of checking out The Distillers down in Cow Town on May 23, and it'd be rather corking of you if you had an extra couch or two.

Then again, seeing as how it's not actually your house, you might want to okay it with the rightful owners. Or, OR!, you could arrange that they have some sort of "accident" thus enabling the two of us to share accommodations with you.

Brilliant!

Currently listening to: Finger Eleven - Famous

New Look For Spring

Hey there! Despite my full schedule I thought it would be a nice idea to fool around with the site and give it a new look. I'm not so sure if I prefer this template over my old one, but I'm willing to give it a shot.

I'm hoping to try out some of the new features, like the comments that can be posted by anyone who reads my Blog. Since my old Shoutbox seems to be out of commission, it's nice and convenient that this option has been added to the site.

Though I don't seem to be posting rants/glorious insights on a regular basis, I do tend to keep the information in the right column up to date.

Ciao!

Currently listening to: Billy Talent - Voices of Violence

05/04 nttr ttf cb tmrw morning

I probably wrote that line, or various indistinguishable permutations of it, at least a few dozen million times at work this evening. There's moments when this bastardized short-hand of the English language sends shivers down my spine and cools my endtrails - does the term "Newspeak" mean anything to you? How about "Ingsoc"? That's right, having finished my annual reading of George Orwell's masterpiece Nineteen Eighty-Four, I feel like some sort of comrade deep in the heart of the Ministry of Learning, working like mad on my own little task, kept from seeing the larger picture of just what we're collectively accomplishing.

My actual reason for posting, though, it that I wanted to proclaim loudly that Spring in Edmonton Sucks. I worked a 7-hour shift this evening, and whereas I was able to rollerblade to work without a jacket, I almost lost my ears to the swirling winds and bitter, slushy cold on my way home! The weather programs may have warned me about today for the past few days, but that doesn't negate the fact that the weather choosing to turn 180 degrees on a whim is totally unacceptable.

I mean, it's 2004 already! Where's the flying cars, moon buses, and satellite controlled weather? Somewhere between 1950 and now scientists and inventors have gone horribly astray. Sure, I might be able to get an erection at 80 with a half-life of 24hrs, but what good is that if I'm not "doing" some 4-breasted space babe from another galaxy...over my lunch hour!?

Freak snow storms and lost appendages are not what I would have envisioned, that's for sure.

Mayor Bill Smith will be the first to orate that we Edmontonians live in the "greatest city, in the greatest province, in the greatest country in the world [and greatest galaxy in the greatest universe, I would assume - Ed.]!" but I don't see him pushing City Council to immediately fund some sort of fantastical environmental dome over this unpredictable burg. You better hope this isn't an election year, mister, because judging by the Mother of all Ear Aches that I've got going on, you've just lost yourself a vote.

Currently: Rebuilding my "completely legal" mp3 collection.

01 Stalingrad Polka.mp3

Hahhahahhahhaaaah!!!



Here's one FWD: that I received in my inbox that I actually appreciated, not only because it wasn't another 500lb naked woman screwing a midget, but because it brought back fond memories of my illegally hoarded mp3 collection.

Before the inevitable blue screen of doom locked up my computer, I was in the midst of adding to my 4000+ mp3 collection with utter crapulence. No album was out of my reach, and my propensity to download every single song for an artist and meticulously arrange them all into albums, with the appropriate album cover artwork on the folder, and label them in a uniform manner, bordered on a form of mental disorder I'd rather not know about. But alas, one Windows XP re-install later, and my 192kbps digitally compressed treasure trove of ill gotten goods was gone...

...even my pirated screener of The Passion of the Christ! The look on Nicole's face was somewhere between shock, disgust, and holy fear when she exclaimed, "You stole a movie about Jesus!?" I had no witty reply at the time, but weeks of late-night contemplation assured me that movies about Jesus should be open and free to all. Besides, it's not polite to argue about things like religion or politics. Silver City and their $15 tickets aren't going to come between me and my faith!

Yeah, you heard me!

Currently listening to: The Weakerthans - One Great City!

Gestapo Tactics Tuesday

I've been warned by previous Shaw High-Speed Internet users that Shaw is quick to target users that download quite a bit more than their average user - which I assume is someone duped into thinking that a high-speed account is necessary to check their email once a day and browse oatmeal cookie recipes on chatelaine.ca

Here's the scaremongering tactic they recently used on me, via a concerned customer service email:

Dear Shaw Internet Customer

In order to provide all Shaw Internet customers with an optimal Internet experience we proactively assess our network. Through our analysis we have noticed that the level of activity on your Internet account is more than 30 to 50 times that of our average Internet user.

We would like to help identify the cause(s) of the heavy traffic that may be affecting your computer’s performance and most importantly your Internet experience. Often a file sharing program can be the cause of high amounts of traffic. Not only will this affect the flow of traffic on the Internet it also puts a major strain on your computer’s resources.

For more information about how large quantities of Internet traffic can adversely affect your online experience please click here:
http://support.shaw.ca/assistance/filesharing

If you need assistance please click here to find your local Shaw telephone number:
http://support.shaw.ca/contacts.htm

PLEASE NOTE:
We ask that the account holder reply indicating they have read this e-mail and will address this issue.

To view the Acceptable Use Policy please visit:
https://secure.shaw.ca/policy/Use-Policy.asp

Thank you for your cooperation.


Internet Assistance Team
SHAW) Internet Services

I was touched to see that they were so concerned with my computer's performance and the quality of my online experience. Well, my unlimited high-speed account couldn't be better, and between streaming internet radio through iTunes, downloading music, movies, and TV shows, and even playing a few online games like UT2K4, I'd say that I'm making the most of what high-speed has to offer!

Only 30 to 50 times that of the average user!? That's almost insulting! I shall strive evermore to increase those statistics, so help me God.

Currently listening to: The Trews - Black Halo

Ring of Fire

This past weekend, saw another Easter Sunday come and go, and with this special time, another family dinner of astronomical proportions, where family and in-laws are to be avoided at all costs, and the presence of left-overs is completely unacceptable.

With my parents heading for the hills to visit my sister in Revelstoke, and my other sister heading down to Calgary, it looked like I'd have to fend for myself, though this situation turned out to be easily rectified. In the welcoming comforts of Nicole's family, I gorged myself on ham and turkey, mashed potatoes and salad, and enough gravy to enlarge your heart. What made this meal even more special was that it was pot-luck, and Nicole and I's contribution was the East Indian dish Aloo Gobi. It was our first time preparing the dish, and through luck or skill, it turned out to be a hit.

It's a simple vegetarian dish that doesn't cost all that much to make, and has the capacity to fill you up quite nicely. Depending on your tastes it can pack a decent amount of heat, and it's the perfect compliment to tandoori chicken or whatever else you desire. I got the recipe off my sister, and through I don't quite think she divulged all her secrets, she certainly put Nicole and I on the right path.

I look forward to experimenting a bit more in the kitchen, as Shake'n'Bake is starting to gross me out, and cereal shouldn't be considered a "meal" more than twice in one day.

Currently listening to: Rage Against The Machine - Wind Below

Pure BS or Pure Genius?

Ha-zah, I say! Ha-zah! I received one of my most favourable marks this past week, and it concerns a commentary paper I was writing for my Globalization course. I'll be completely honest - this assignment had me on the ropes. I didn't really know what I was going to talk about, and I didn't really make a solid outline before hand, so I kinda winged it during one frantic night of caffeine-fueled typing.

When all was said and done, I was left with 4 pages of what could be considered pure bullshit or pure genius. There really was no middle-ground, as far as I could see. Now that I've received my mark, I can officially declare that it was pure genius...or a level of bullshit so incomprehensible that my professor had no choice but to reward the ballsy endeavour with an equally absurd mark: 19.5/20.0

Currently listening to: Bush - Monkey

Ralph's A-okay

I'm not about to begin arguing politics here, or try to sway your perception of Ralph Klein's provincial government here in Alberta, but I'd like to state that they've been nothing but kind to me when it comes to my student loans. During the summer, as I was getting ready to start making a few payments, I was informed that the provincial government had paid off my entire outstanding balance with Edulinx, a debt load of nearly $7000! I made sure to get a conformation of that in writing, as I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I hadn't applied for any special debt relief, and I'm not even finished with school yet - I was simply taking a year off.

Then this month I get a statement from Royal Bank, who holds the other half of my student loans. Once again, the provincial government, seemingly out of the blue, has seen fit to pay nearly $5000 off my loans! I don't know what the hell is going on, but I'm sure not complaining about it.

Who knows, if I stay in University long enough they might just clear up all my debts!

Currently: Shaking and mumbling from not having gone to bed yet.

Caffeine is Brain Juice

Ah yes, the magnificent final weeks of another academic semester at the University of Alberta. What precipitates this particular point in being so poignant, you ask? Why, it's the necessity to push your body and your mind to extraordinary plateaus in order to complete end-of-term papers and cram your noodle with enough knowledge to ace final exams, that's what!

Now, I may be a humble Arts student, and a wishy-washy Sociology student at that, but I've got my fair share of pressures during this time of the year. There comes a time when I have to complete those essays I've been putting off "until I'm hit with a surge of creativity," and finally crack open those over-priced textbooks I bought, a time which incidentally happens to be right about now. So if it seems like I'm avoiding you, or have dropped off the face of the earth, please don't take it personally, because it's simply that I'm engrossed with schoolwork. I've enjoyed a particularly long and eventful university career up to this point, but I really have no particular desire to prolong it for much longer.

So between now and the middle of April, I look forward to drinking more coffee than is good for me, sleeping when I should be awake and being awake when I should be sleeping, all the while contemplating the inherent injustices of the world in a manner that can be easily transcribed on 3 - 4, double-spaced pages, in a 12-pt font.

Currently listening to: My erratic heartbeat from half a dozen cups of black java.

Communist Plot

Short post this Friday.

If it's the intention of the National Hockey League to ensure a great percentage of Canadian university undergraduates perform poorly on their final exams and term projects, then I say they've been dangerously successful. Why in their right mind would they schedule the most important part of the hockey season for April!? What makes this year's hockey season even more distracting is the way the Edmonton Oilers are vying for a playoff spot. I swear, this team will be the death of us, the way they wait until the last game of the season to potentially seal the deal, playing havoc on our stressed-out nerves at every turn.

Bah! I'm so far behind on schoolwork it's not even funny - maybe it's best that they don't make the playoffs. For my GPA's sake.

Currently: Ploughing through an insane amount of readings

Zombies Ate My Neighbours

All this studying, writing essays, and completing end-of-term assignments is for the birds! Though I'm sure I've wasted plenty of time and have procrastinated whenever possible, it just doesn't feel like I'm killing enough time. So while we're on the topic of killing, I'm proud to announce that tonight I'll be heading out to scream in fear and excitement at Dawn of the Dead.

I can't remember the last time I've watched a decent zombie movie. 28 Days Later was okay, but there just wasn't enough zombies on screen at once, and not enough of those zombies were exploding into gooey, undead messes. I've mastered all the Resident Evil games, so my love for zombies does run deep, though the majority of the fear in those games was induced by the inability to move your character in an easy, fast manner.

Nonetheless, tonight should be a fun time, and I expect far more campy laughs than that Jesus movie had.

Currently listening to: Pearl Jam - Once

Downright Crafty

The extent to which I can be frugal and cost-effective seemingly knows no bounds - at times. A while ago I was faced with a very disturbing dilemma. During one of our many visits to Value Village for fantastic bargains, Jeremy and I happened upon an orange Che Guevara shirt, vintage, straight from Cuba. It was one of the most unique finds at the time, which was before the mass-market push of Che shirts, which can now be found at nearly every t-shirt shop and mall kiosk.

I'll be honest, I wore my Value Village Che shirt quite a lot. I wore it so often, in fact, that the ancient colours started to fade with each subsequent wash. It was a gradual change that I never really took note of. It's kinda like how you don't notice a change in your friend if you see him on a regular basis, but go a month or two, and suddenly you remark "Man, you've changed alot since I last saw you! How'd you pack on those extra 50lbs!?" So yeah, it wasn't until a co-worker of mine at Tri-City Drilling questioned just why I was wearing a light pink shirt that I finally took notice.

It's true. The vibrant orange had faded to a dull pink, making the shirt bland and almost unwearable. Now, most people would simply dispose of a shirt that cost them $2.99, but no, I couldn't bear the thought. So one hour and one packet of orange RIT dye later, I had a brand new t-shirt and the legend of Che will continue to live on!

Currently listening to: Hex - Sirf (Hedfunk Remix)

Super Mario

Hey y'all. I just thought this was a great download, so head on over and check it out!

Currently: Working like a madman to finish a Commentary Paper

Procrastination 64

Between cleaning my apartment, doing my laundry, lazing about at Nicole's, and surfing the internet, I was beginning to run out of things to eat up my time before I seriously tackled a few semester-end projects. Normally I'd throw in a healthy dose of Gamecube to consume any productive hours I had remaining, but after a week of not playing, Nicole was so rabid to play Animal Crossing that come hell or high water there was no way I could refuse her subtle coercion to lend her my precious Cube.

Enter Nintendo 64 from stage left.

I haven't hooked up this 64-bit cartridge-based beast in over a year, but let me tell you, a few rounds of Mario Kart 64 or a few levels of Goldeneye was more than sufficient to appease my videogame hunger. Between the two controllers, one has a loose analog stick from overuse, while the other has sticky buttons from New Year's champagne, back in 1998, over at Dean's place. But hey, beggars can't be choosers, and I can only get my ass kicked at UT2004 so many times before I declare competition against those hardcore computer nerds beyond the scope of human capability.

Currently: Cooking some good ol' extra spicy Shake'n'Bake!

Team Pitchers For All

To be completely honest, between work and the pressures of wrapping up another successful year at University, I haven't got much to talk about today. One of the more interesting developments this week has been Lambda Chi Alpha's winning of a student group contest at Boston Pizza on Whyte Avenue.

Looking to save a few bucks, one member discovered that if you register your student group at BP's you get 10% off your total bill. In theory you're supposed to have at least 6 members at the table to receive the discount, but they've been very flexible with this stipulation. This program was actually a contest, and the student group spending the most money would be rewarded with an evening in the Party Room and a $1000 tab!

Let me repeat that. A $1000 tab!

We were informed of our victory on Monday. Now, seeing as how Lambda Chi Alpha has less than 30 Active Members this year, we'll assume that around 20 people will be available to finish off this tab. That's still $50/person! That's enough for everyone to order a Team Pitcher and a steak! I don't know about you, but this is a pretty amazing windfall for a group of University students who were looking to save a buck or two for supper.

Currently listening to: Those old radio shows on 630 CHED.