The Double-L Word

Another week of freedom (has it been a week already?) has come and gone and it's back to work I go. As usual, there's a long list of things I wanted to do which will remain unaddressed, including adding a few meaningful posts to this here blog. Nevertheless, I'm gone for another two weeks, so...see ya'll around 'crimmis time!

Work Date: Wednesday, December 7 - Wednesday, December 21
Work Location: Lloydminster, AB (approx. 300km away)
Hole Tally: #11
Physical Status: Post-Masseused

Currently: Enjoying my first pint of Edmonton's newest brew, Maverick Supreme Lager.

Pulling Dragons From The Gound

This past week off has been both a blessing and a bit unfortunate. Instead of heading back to work last Wednesday night, my start date was pushed back to this Saturday night due to a long rig move. It was great that I had the extra time off, and I tried to make the most of it by relaxing (both the mind and the body), tackling some unfinished chores around the house, scheduling more than a few dates with Nicole, and taking Maizey to the off-leash park whenever possible. For the most part, I couldn't be happier with the past ten days.

However, the downside is that I've lost 3-shifts worth of income, which is fairly substantial.

I'll be heading out east to Lloydminster, which means I'll be stopping by Vegreville this afternoon to visit my parents and visit my Baba at the hospital. She drove into a moose just outside of Two Hills, and aside from some cuts and bruises from glass and the airbag, she's in remarkably good shape! I'm sure she'll appreciate the visit, and I'm thankful she's doing so well.

Work Date: Saturday, November 19 - Wednesday, November 30
Work Location: Lloydminster, AB (approx. 300km away)
Hole Tally: #8
Physical Status: Intact

Currently: Burning a swack of CDs for the long days ahead.

Heaven In Alberta

It truly isn't fair: the week I was back here at home flew by much faster than any single week at work. I've had quite a few things stored in my head to Blog about, but it just seems I never got around to putting thought to digital print.

The good news is that I won't have to drive for half a day to make it to south-eastern Saskatchewan...I guess I'll see y'all in another half-month!

Work Date: Wednesday, October 26 - Wednesday, November 9
Work Location: Champion, AB (approx. 450km away)
Hole Tally: #4
Physical Status: Intact

Currently: Frantically packing the rest of my work supplies.

Forget Tibet, Free China!

Truly, may God have mercy on their souls, all 1,000,000,000+ of them. I'm not referring to anything the Chinese President has alluded to during his recent visit to Canada, but that's quite possibly because his aides have kept this vital information from him: Nate is teaching English to the Chinese.

Yes, that's right, Master Homobot himself is in the land of rice paddies and bootleg DVDs, seeding the beginnings of the Engrish language into their impressionable minds. Around 5am the other day, he popped onto Messenger to inform me that he and Alicia have been there since the beginning of September.

They were originally planning for Japan, but I guess they got a great offer for China. Nate claims living expenses are ridiculously low, and he's already amassed a collection of bootleg movies and cheap electronics. Drop the kids a line (shasty6969@hotmail.com) as I'm sure they'd appreciate some Canadian contact.

Currently: Trying to install SW: KOTOR 2: TSL.

The Definitive Test?

I was quite surprised with the results of this thing - it's pretty cool, actually. Give it a shot and see how accurate it is for the rest of you:

www.howsexyareu.com

I apologize for the nudie banner ads, but...have fun!

Currently listening to: Death From Above 1979 - You're A Woman, I'm A Machine.

"The Human Adventure Is Just Beginning"

That, apparently, is the tag-line for Star Trek: The Motion Picture.

While browsing the internet for classic movie trailers, I stumbled upon the one for this first Trek movie, and it piqued my interest. I've only watched the movie once, years ago, despite the fact that I've watched the other nine a few times each. Hell, I've watched Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan perhaps more times than any other movie (maybe not more than The Monster Squad)...but don't get me started on that epic sci-fi masterpiece.

ST:TMP is not a very good movie. The plot is paper thin, even for a Star Trek movie, and it's pacing is several factors slower than 2001: A Space Odyssey, believe it or not. For 1979 it looks pretty good, but the first hour is really nothing more than wide-angle shots of the Enterprise to variations of the orchestrated theme. In the meantime, a doe-eyed Kirk stares in wonder. Zzzzzzz....

Which is exactly why I rented the Special Directors Edition the other night - to put me to sleep. Mission accomplished, though I had nightmares that I too was unable to logically conclude that V---ger was simply Voyager covered by a bit of space dust.

Bah!

Currently: The victim of attending another crappy Edmonton Eskimos loss.

T-Minus...

...a few days and counting. I'll be getting that call from Tri-City Drilling any day now, so don't be alarmed if I sort of drop off the face of the planet at a moment's notice.

For my glorious return to the life of a planet/nature destroyer/rapist, I've decided I'll be chronicling my journey. It started out that I was going to track my spending and expenses, right down to the penny, but then I totally got OCD. I'll be logging my mileage, each town I stay in, how many wells I help drill...basically everything I can think of. It will be a body of work only fascinating to myself, but it'll keep my mind active. It's a shame I'm not a PhD student doing an ethnography on rig workers.

Methinks I've taken one too many quantitative social research classes.

Currently listening to: Our Lady Peace - Healthy in Paranoid Times.

Lady Luck

Last night, by far, was the most expensive night of poker I've ever experienced, despite the fact that I was not playing for money. Things wrapped up fairly late, and I was in a bit of a hurry to get home, so I failed to remember a steel pole was waiting at the end of the driveway.

You can imagine my car didn't stand a chance:

Car Damage 01
Car Damage 02
Car Damage 03
Car Damage 04
Car Damage 05
Car Damage 06

Slowly but surely, I'm making sure my car won't be worth a penny.

Currently: Thinking that those pop stains on the ceiling aren't quite so bad anymore...

GTA: Bellamy Hill

Personally, I though it was both exhilarating and cool to witness a $60,000 Beamer get smashed to bits in front of our house. I can feel no guilt about this because no one was killed, nor was the car stolen...just some drunk rich kids who demolished their own property. I got to be on Citytv and fill out a police report, which simply adds to the coolness factor of the whole evening.

On Monday evening, the ante was raised further in our quiet little neighbourhood. As I stood in the kitchen I distinctly heard someone knocking on the front door. Maizey started barking so I peeked out the window to see who was there. Nobody. Curious, and confused, I opened the door and stuck my head out...still no one. I then noticed a kid across the street running for cover, and for an instant I figured I might have been pranked. Then Nicole asked me if I'd heard the gun shots and seen the cars speeding away. Apparently I failed to see the black car riddled with bullet holes speed past our home.

Let's see. Someone fires off a few rounds on a semi-automatic, and I stick my melon outside to see what's going on. Surely that debunks the "survival of the fittest" myth.

So within a week, Nicole and I witness two newsworthy events, and this time she gets to fill out the police report. The camera crews from all the stations were parked outside our place, but they refrained from interviewing anyone - I guess it's not a safe idea to put drive-by-shooting witnesses on the late-night news.

Nicole and I are betting we'll witness a stabbing next, perhaps amongst the various vagrants who camp out in the bushes lining our property.

We've really got to learn to keep a camera on us at all times!

Currently: Enjoying the freedom of not applying for another year of student loans.

Go Outdoors

It's very tempting to describe Edmonton as a cold, dirty, concrete wasteland, and if all you see are the outskirts and main roadways, I wouldn't fault you for reaching such a conclusion. The refineries are just plain disgusting and there's very little green along the Whitemud or Yellowhead.

Living in the downtown Rivervalley this past year, however, has forced me to see Edmonton in a completely different light. Quite frankly, the Rivervalley trail system is amazing and there are a tonne of decent parks to be found. Just this evening Nicole and I were looking for the Terwillegar Park off-leash area but ended up wandering around some awesome trails. There were old-growth trees too large to get your arms around...with a bit of effort, you could easily imagine you were in B.C., or even a park in the Rockies. At the very least, all the sights, sounds, and smells of the city were absent, making for a very enjoyable hike.

So, if you haven't done so this summer, get out there and enjoy all the free relaxation opportunities the city has to offer. Once you get out there, you just might be surprised at how much there is to explore.

Currently listening to: The Eskies battling the Alouettes on streaming 630 Ched.

C://windows_xp.err

Okay, so Windows didn't exactly self-destruct, but things haven't been running very smoothly on my computer for quite some time. I mean, geeze, it's been almost half a year since I wiped my HD and re-installed XP from scratch.

So that was part of my morning, backing up my files and downloading XP updates after the install. So fresh. So squeaky clean. This baby'll be running great for the next few days!

Currently: Fearing that I can't find my "back-up copy" of Office 2003.

Old Man Skinner

Residing in a house and having to pay all the various bills which that entails, has an interesting effect on one's youthful, carefree lifestyle.

Anticipating our very first, personalized, water and gas bills, Nicole and I have been dreading what they may contain. So in the meantime, if you're cold, DON'T you dare touch that thermostat...put on a sweater, or two. As for the electricity, you'd better be turning off those lights when you leave a room, and HEY!, why do you have them on anyways...the sun is still up! Sit by a window.

It's not exactly like I'm responsible for cracking the whip, though. I believe Nicole 's stated, "I'd rather freeze to death than pay a $300 gas bill."

So as I deposited several large stones in the toilet's cistern, I wondered, if I'm this miserly at 24, I can't wait to see what I'll be like at 80!

Currently: Understanding completely why Clint and Tara's home is an ice palace.

Destruction Derby

Apparently Nicole and I are news-worthy incident magnets. Specifically, we always seem to witness horrible accidents covered by A-Channel/CityTV. I was interviewed and got to appear on the evening news as one of those "Geeze, I can't believe what just happened!" idiots. That didn't stop me from taping it, of course.

In case you didn't catch the 11:30 news, a beautiful BMW was totaled right in front of our house. Nicole and I were just pulling up to the intersection of Bellamy Hill and 99 Avenue, when the sound of a revving engine and screaming tires alerted me to proceed with caution. Suddenly the Beamer popped into view, flew up onto the curb, spun within metres of my car, nailed the pole in front of our house, then swerved back across all 4 lanes and crashed head-on with yet another giant, steel pole!

It was all a blur of silver car and flying debris.

I put my car in park and decided it would be best to see if the people in the car needed help, when two guys in their mid-20's stumbled out of the wreckage and then fled into the bushes! I didn't quite expect that to happen, so I immediately called 911 and reported the whole event.

Within minutes all of Bellamy Hill was filled with police, fire trucks, and a whole crowd of curious neighbours and rubber-neckers. Since I was one of the few people who witnessed the entire thing, I got to fill out a police report, and my description of the fleeing car wreckers was pretty close to the two guys they managed to nab.

It's scary to think that Nicole and I avoided being hit by mere seconds...I'm pretty sure that BMW would've sliced right through my car, especially with how fast it was flying. It got my adrenaline pumping, that's for sure.

Currently listening to: The peace and quiet of the house when both dogs (Maizey and Babie) are sleeping.

Settling In

It's been just a bit over two weeks, but this little rental house of ours is starting to feel like home. Sure, there's still plenty of boxes that need unpacking, not all of our things have found a permanent home (re: clothing) and there are still minor repairs which need to be done, but the ol' house is downright cozy. With a countertop there, a few shelves here, and a couple nail holes filled in, the place'll be looking sweet.

The weather outside has been miserable this week, so we now know, for a fact, that the heating system works great. What we'll find out in time, I suppose, is how well the house is insulated. A few -40C mid-January weeks will reveal all.

Over the weekend I was able to pick up a new pair of glasses to replace the worn-out, scratched, and dog-chewed spectacles I was wearing before. My new Ray-Ban's are similar in style, but fit a bit smaller. It's great to now be able to look directly at a light source and not have scratched lenses refract that light in a multi-directed explosion. Check 'em out:


Currently: Wishing I had more/any deskspace by the computer.

PRL Blog-a-thon

Ooooohhh...my legs are sore as Hell thanks to my netminding duties on Sunday. It's rough, even on my relatively young body, to play once a month and pay little heed to stretching techniques either before or after.

I nearly cried when I had to climb one set of stairs to the Lab.

Currently: Mixing "leisure time" with "work time."

The [K]ome-back Kid

Despite some initial frustrations in getting ball hockey started on time, the evening played out rather nicely. Having not played in nearly a month (there were cobwebs in my goalie equipment!), still slightly pissed off from the pre-game confusion, not given a single warm-up shot, and facing a decade-tuned Vegreville squad, I completely self-destructed in a quick 10-1 loss.

Thankfully, things improved from there. I picked up victories in the next two games (10-7, 10-9), where the final game was a come-from-behind victory that saw my team down 9-7 and then score 3 unanswered goals for the sweet, sweet win. It's not very often that comebacks occur, especially when the other team is one goal away from ending it.

It's nice to see that what was perhaps my final Sunday of ball hockey, before heading back to work with Tri-City Drilling, ended on a hard-earned, winning note.

Speaking of returning to work, it's still slowly sinking in that I've written my final UofA exam as an undergraduate...completing my degree has been such a looooonggg process that I was truly starting to feel there was NO END to it. My time at the University of Alberta has been the source of both my greatest achievement and shame.

I went from nearly failing out of school entirely, to now flirting with the possibility of convocating with Distinction. Ultimately, I refused to give up on what's, arguably, an unmarketable Sociology/Anthropology Bachelor of Arts degree. For that I can be proud of my accomplishments.

On the other hand, I tend to be very hard on myself when it comes to failure or not living up to perceived expectations, and for every 10 things I might've done right, a single negative point is capable of overshadowing everything. I dwell on my mistakes and shortcomings - the "outta's" and "shoulda's" of the past years. It frustrates me to no end that I have such a hard time seeing that I've done well, made the most of an unfortunate and complicated situation, but instead constantly fear that I've been a burden and embarrassment to the loved ones in my life.

It's so easy to feel incompetent when you see the thousands, upon thousands of students who finish up in four years, graduate, and start working, whereas every similar stage has never been easy for me. I see people my age, and younger, with decent paying jobs/careers, their own homes, fiances and wives, whereas I've been trying to live off ~$5/day for the past half-decade and depend on others just to eat on a daily basis.

Words cannot express how thankful I am to Nicole, my family, and friends for supporting me. I get overwhelmed just thinking about the confidence everyone has had in me, even when I'd convinced myself that I was an unnecessary burden, undeserving of second-, third-, fourth-(and counting) chances. Thank you. Thank you all so very much.

With the coming of September comes the beginning of the next true stage in my life, and I like to think of it as the starting point for giving something back to all those who have supported me. My time at university, especially the last two years, has necessitated a focus on me, where I was the centre of focus, often to the sacrifice and detriment of those around me. It's time to get to work. It's time to shoulder my share (and more) of the responsibilities in my life and support those who've postponed and given-up so much for me.

In the short-term it means having to go back to a job which keeps me away 21-days of the month and progressively breaks my body and subdues my spirits, but that's a personal sacrifice that pales in comparison to all I've received.

Currently: Watching the dog chew on her new squeak toy.

Wooooooooooooooo!

I've just finished writing my last University of Alberta undergraduate exam!

Currently: Astonished, quite frankly.

Sneak Peek

Here it is, a wonderful satellite image of our new rental house! It's that lone house, surrounded by trees, smack dab in the middle of the picture. When I picked up the keys this morning, the city property manager confirmed that it was built in 1930...so I was very close when I guessed it was nearly 80 years old!

Currently: Putting the finishing touches on my Philosophy assignment (The problem of "free will" and "determinism").

Construct-a-Resume

While myself, Nicole, and Ryan were enjoying an impromptu "date night" at West Edmonton Mall, the topic of past jobs came up. Ryan had a rather impressive list, while Nicole's wasn't nearly as long, but I suppose impressive in its own way. I didn't pipe up because my brain had seized up trying to mentally recount all my previous job placements.

During class I managed to come up with the following list, which I think is complete, though by no means chronological:

01. Vegreville and District CO-OP (Stockboy/Cashier)
02. Shaw Conference Centre (Bartender)
03. Save-on-Foods (Stockboy/Cashier)
04. Baskin Robbins (Ice Cream Jockey)
05. Tri-City Drilling (x2) (Roughneck/Motorman)
06. The Old Wood Factory (Construction Labourer)
07. New Dimensions (Construction Labourer)
08. *a third construction company that I can't recall the name of
09. *a landscaping company that I also can't recall the name of
10. Earl's (Line Cook)
11. The Keg (Line Cook)
12. UofA Population Research Laboratory (CATI Interviewer)
13. Advanis Field Research (Survey Interviewer)
14. Prime Oilfield (Pipeline Labourer)
15. New Creations (Clerk)
16. Vandelay Industries (Latex)

The list is lengthy, to be sure, but I have been working since I was 14, and there were a few times I was holding down 2-3 jobs at once. There's been other things I've been paid to do (website design, yard-work, etc.), but I wouldn't consider them official jobs. It's interesting to see the HUGE differences in workplace demands if you were to compare Baskin Robbins to Tri-City Drilling. What about the rest of you? How many different jobs have you had?

Currently: Reducing my 750-word paper to the 250-word limit.

Dat Dere's Purdy

I've been slaving away on my group presentation for tomorrow afternoon. As well as doing my fair share of research, I'm also handling the website, and took it upon myself to put the finishing touches on both the class hand-out and the PowerPoint presentation.

The website is very simple, and I pretty much just used Adobe Illustrator, text, transparencies, and abundant drop shadows. It still looks pleasing to the eyes, so you should go and check it out!

Calling all Campers

I've already spoken to some of you guys, and I'm bound to be giving you a follow-up call very soon, but I'd better mention it here: myself, Nicole, and her former Lister Hall roommate will be going camping during the first weekend of August.

Our plans are to spend a few evenings in Kananaskis, August 4-7. All the sites we'd like to check out are "first come, first serve" so we're hoping a mid-week start to our adventure will increase our odds of snagging a sweet site. A few of you have already mentioned you'd like to give it a shot, so don't be afraid to let us know for certain.

Currently: Overloaded with party "finger food."

"As you command..."

Ah yes, one can only hope the upcoming Transformers movie will be 1/10th as awesome as this scenario!

Currently listening to: CBC Radio 2

Bitch and Complain

The attendance for my Philosophy class this evening was particularly low..including myself, there was only 6 students. Since I was curious, I asked the professor how many students are necessary before a particular class gets cancelled. The answer: 12

A mere 9 students actually signed up for the course, but the voracity of some students' need to take the course was too great to oppose. I, for one, was extremely vocal with the Department that I be allowed to take the class immediately. If it had been cancelled, the scenario would have been disastrous for me:

1. I would've been 1 course (3 credits) short of my degree.
2. I would've had to choose between;
a) giving up on my degree entirely,
b) putting it off for yet another year while I headed back to work,
c) or enduring another 4 months of student poverty to complete one damn class.

Needless to say, I would have been left pissed-off, despondent, and more than a little depressed.

Currently: Getting ready to put the dog to bed.

A Point of Clarification

I'm not entirely sure how this idea has managed to spread amongst family and friends, but it must be noted, Nicole and I are NOT being evicted from our current residence. In a sense, we're moving out before such a thing can occur...

While debating whether or not to sign another 1-year lease, we asked the owners of our condo if we would be able to get a "small" dog; they countered by saying they'd go as far as a cat. It was on that point we decided to pass on re-signing, and explore other options, notably our desire for a house. The condo owners are currently unawares that we've had a dog for almost 2 months, and that's just how we'd like it.

We've been quite sneaky, actually. They've come around the apartment a few times to show it to potential renters, so we've needed to hide all evidence of the dog. The deception requires selective hiding of toys and food, scent masking, and among other small details, hiding Maizey - in a pinch, my car works for 30 minutes or so.

Currently: Wishing we had more moving boxes.

Philosophically Speaking...

...it's been quite some time since I've taken a philosophy course, but it's funny how quickly old-knowledge resurfaces. In today's class we were debating proofs for the existence of God, and I'm sure Pascal's Wager is a concept you're all familiar with. It states that if you were to analyse your options in regard to belief in God carefully (or belief in any other religious system with a similar reward and punishment scheme), you would come out with the following possibilities:

- You may believe in God, and God exists, in which case you go to heaven.
- You may believe in God, and God doesn't exist, in which case you gain nothing.
- You may not believe in God, and God doesn't exist, in which you gain nothing again.
- You may not believe in God, and God may exist, in which case you will be punished.

From these possibilities, and the principles of statistics, Pascal deduced that it would be better to believe in God unconditionally. It's a classic application of game theory to itemize options and payoffs and is valid within its assumptions. Here's a simple table that shows the values assigned to each possible outcome:

	God exists (G)	God does not exist (~G)
Belief in God (B)	+ ∞ (heaven)	0
Non-belief in God (~B)	− ∞ (hell)	0

Of course, Pascal's Wager is not an argument for the existence of God, per se. He concluded that since we can never know for sure, and that our minds were absolutely incapable of truly comprehending God (or infinity, or perfection) we'd gain nothing by debating it.

What this post's really about, is that the entire class exercise brought me back to a previous Risk, Choice, and Rationality course where our first decision matrix was the Prisoner's Dilemma.

For a bit of fun, you can follow this link to play the game with a computer. Enjoy!

Currently: Sitting amongst moving boxes full of books.

Defend the Turf

I tend to have the worse possible luck when it comes to paying to attend a major sporting event. Not simply attending them, mind you, but when I've shelled out some cash to do so. Quite frankly, the game usually sucks, and last night was no exception.

Taking advantage of a 2-for-1 deal, I picked up some tickets for the Eskimos/Blue Bombers games at Commonwealth last night. Things started out strange when the ticket office insisted the only two "coupled" tickets were waaaayyyy up in row 71. That's pretty damn high.

Instead of explaining how painful the game was to watch, I'll let these quotes paint the picture:

"We couldn't get any kind of rhythm going," said Ray, who finished 28 of 48 for 335 yards and no touchdowns in a generally sloppy game before 35,455 at Commonwealth Stadium.

The Eskimos (3-1), who were favoured to win by as much as 20 points, still generated 412 yards of net offence to Winnipeg's 230, and had the ball for 17 more minutes. The last time Edmonton won a game scoring 20 or fewer points was July 13, 2001 - a 13-11 win over Saskatchewan.

Ray, who entered the game leading the CFL in compilations and passing yards, threw a pair of first-half interceptions and was sacked twice as the Eskimos held a 7-4 lead at the half.

The Edmonton Eskimos' kicker for the last 14 seasons missed three field goals to finish four- for-seven but rebounded to kick a 23-yarder with no time left in the fourth quarter as the Edmonton Eskimos salvaged a 14-12 win over Winnipeg in a sloppy Friday night.

Yeah...but we still won, I suppose, so that was worth catching pneumonia from the drizzling rain.

Currently listening to: Green Day - American Idiot

Mmmm...Brains!

First of all, I'm digging my site's slightly updated template. Secondly, there's nothing finer than eating waffles and bangers before bed!

It's been an interesting week, with a few news tidbits sprinkled here and there. The house that Nicole and I will soon be renting has gotten a bit of a face-lift. A landscaping crew has trimmed all the trees and bushes, mowed the lawn and emptied the gutters...which is awesome because I don't own a ladder or a lawnmower. As well, the painters have been by to spruce up the bedrooms and hallways. The next stage will be the cleaners (apparently the previous tenants were heavy smokers) after which the city will hand the keys over to us! The sooner the better, I say, since that'll give us plenty of time to pack things up and carry them across the street.

I participated in an MRI/Schizophrenia study this morning. To clarify, I was part of the healthy control group. I'd signed up for it almost 2 months ago, but the researchers had to wait on the MRI technicians to update the hardware. It was a pretty cool experience, that's for sure! They ask you to lie perfectly still, as even shifting a few millimeters can screw up their imaging - then they clamp your head into a vice, pretty much negating your ability to do so. As they mapped my grey matter, I performed a series of tests, involving pushing a button to match the corresponding dot on the screen. The whole process took about 40 minutes, and I'll admit, there were times when I was feeling a bit claustrophobic. I also learned that MRI machines are very loud and make sounds that range from thumping bass to lazer beam sounds to parking garage gate buzzers. Best of all, I got to see the scans of my brain (thankfully, everything was where it should be) and they were impressed at how symmetrical it was. I have a handsome brain, I suppose.

As I left the hospital, I was then accosted on the street by a reporter from Dose, and was interviewed for their random street-talkers section. I answered a few questions on "strip club etiquette" so it looks like I'll have some newspaper clippings that mom will be proud to display on the fridge...

Currently: Praying that Maizey sleeps-in later than 4am today!

Quite the Conundrum

Have you ever had to complete a written assignment, worth 10% of your final grade, which can only be a mere 200-250 words!? Believe me, it's an academic exercise no less demanding than a 20-page dissertation. The sheer volume of information I desire to convey on the topic at hand is continually being constrained by the format, and the selective process of pairing down my argument is frustratingly exhaustive.

If I could travel back in time a few years and encounter my former self, I'd whoop my ass medieval-style. Damn me!

Word Count: 91

See! This mini rant is almost half the length of the infernal assignment!

Currently: Cowering in a corner of Knowledge Common, wishing evil upon my Philosophy professor.

"I, Alex-KABOOOOMMMM-andra..."

Hey, hey! Here's a few wedding photos from Saturday. I thought my Shaw webspace was much larger than the actual 20MB, so it looks like I'll need to distribute the 15min (150MB+) digital wedding video another way. Mass CD-R distribution, perhaps?

Currently: Debating to study for a bit more or, say, sleep...I'd better hit that Descartes.

Home: Total Awesome

The first week of July has already been quite eventful, with a wedding yet to come on the weekend. Nicole and I made the decision to move from Renaissance Place at the end of the month, and have been successful in being approved for a house!

Not to buy a house, but to rent one...which is similar to buying one, when you consider the rent you pay, except you still own nothing. The house is basically right across the street from our current place, meaning we get to stay in the downtown rivervalley area! Not only that, but moving our stuff will be a snap. The house has what's commonly referred to as a "lot of character," meaning you'll either be repulsed by it or appreciate its inherent charm. I think it's great that the city of Edmonton owns the property and not some crack-house slum lord. The inside is in good repair, new furnace/water heater, paint, etc. They've maintained it very well.

I'm absolutely stoked about the idea of us having our own little home in the heart of the city! I'm confident we'll convert it into quite the cozy place. Maizey, especially, will appreciate the huge yard we've got, though I might be cursing it as I push around the lawn mower...

Currently: Reading the grande finale of Gregg's break-up letter to Jeremy; finally severing the ties of his homo-erotic fascination with the D-Man, and acquiescing to the idea of his marriage to Alex. Congrats!

Majestic

My, oh my, what a great time we had over the Canada Day long-weekend in Jasper! Alex and Jeremy truly struck upon a great idea when they decided to celebrate their final weekend of singlehood with a camping trip.

There were many highlights, from closed hotsprings to conquering a mountain's summit to nearly dying on the highway trying to catch a glimpse of a gargantuan mountain vagina. Though I was only camping for a few days, I still can't wait to sleep in my own bed, so I'll re-iterate some weekend memories once I've rested up.

Currently: Browsing through all the great photos I snapped over the past few days...

Raging River

If you happened to be watching A-Channel News @ 11 you might have briefly heard Paul Mennier mention there was a bit of excitement down by the flooded dock of the Edmonton Queen. Well, here's what happened:

It just so happened that Nicole and I were taking a walk through the Rivervalley to gawk at the flood waters, and on our journey back home, we came upon the dock. There was quite a few people there taking pictures and videos, an EPS presence, and A-Channel was all set up in front of the flooded scene to do a live report for the evening news. Just as I'd finished taking a video of the river, I casually noticed a drunken old man standing close to Paul Mennier and the "Police Line" barricade tape. I figured he was just rambling when he said something to the effect of "You want a story? I'll give you a story!" then took off his jacket and started walking towards the river.

Paul started screaming at the guy to stop, then started screaming for the police officer, who was casually leaning against his cruiser talking to his buddies. The officer eventually ran down to the man and it looked like things were under control (the drunk slowed down and faced the officer) when things went wrong very quickly. The man darted for the bank, the officer tried to tackle him, and then yelled out for help.

In the few instances it took us onlookers to fully grasp the situation, and even start to react, the old guy was in the icy waters and disappeared from sight. A half dozen of us immediately rushed down the path alongside the river to try and see what'd happened to him - I was running so fast my cell phone launched into the bushes. I got to the end of the Queen and the guy was nowhere in sight! A few anxious seconds later, his head popped up from under the water, and the crew of the EQ threw him a life preserver.

At this point he was still 20 metres from the shore, and floating past tremendously fast. He struggled to grasp the preserver then continued to speed down the river past the pedestrian bridge. More cops came running by as we directed them where to go; heck, Paul Mennier himself stopped to ask me what had happened! The whole fiasco was the damnedest thing I'd ever witnessed and the adrenaline was still pumping when I walked back to the dock to rendezvous with Nicole.

Hindsight is always 20/20, but it's frustrating to think why I didn't do more. Things like this happen in a flash, and to be honest, my initial reaction was hesitation. Could I have rushed down to help the cop in time? Was there something I could have done to reach the freezing, drunken man from the flooded shore? They always tell you to leave things like this up to the professionals, but I was right there and a man's life was hanging in the balance. I can rest easier knowing they eventually pulled him out of the river, alive, but it was more than a little unsettling to witness.

Currently: Programming the coffee maker. Will we have brew awaiting @ 7am!?

Bark-o-Zap

So, how was your Father's Day? Nicole and I went over to Vegreville to visit the parents over a fine steak barbeque. Mom picked out these awesome steak medallions wrapped in bacon, 3-types of shish kabobs, and naturally, stuffed us full of countless side dishes. Dad got to kick back and relax as I worked the grill (hey, he's allowed one day of tranquility per year, I suppose) but those M&M steaks were so tender and flavourful that I couldn't take much credit for how perfect they turned out.

Little Maizey got to meet her "cousin" Babie for the first time. I brought along the camera for the occasion, but was too absent-minded to take a single picture. Babie's got 10 years on her, so wasn't as much in the mood for youthful playing, but at least they didn't attack each other. A few well-timed growls put Maizey in her place, that's for sure.

There were two unexpected excitements during the visit: 1. Maizey dug up one of Mom's flower beds, and, 2. Maizey managed to get her head stuck under the fence gate. We actually needed to take the gate apart to get her freed, so that was a little scary. It also explained, though, just why she was making so much noise!

Finally, it looks like we'll be picking up an electronic Bark Collar to train Maizey not to make so much noise while we're gone. Our neighbours in the apartment building are getting a bit upset, and we've already had one anonymous letter slipped under our door. Here's hoping that the collar works, or I imagine we'll be living on the street come next month...

Currently: Realizing that I've turned into one of those annoying dog owners who only has dog-related news to talk about.

The Answer

Too much free time on your hands? Got a lot of nice stuff you'd rather do away with? Well, my friends, the solution is simple! Get a puppy.

Now don't be mistaken, I'm very fond of our little scamp, and at 3 months old, it's to be expected that she'll be stirring up havoc and mayhem. For the most part, I think Nicole and I are doing a fairly decent job within the environment we're provided; a small, white carpeted apartment. In less than a week, we've got the pup trained to "go" outside and if stuck indoors, on these inviting grass-scented training pads. Accidents have been few and far between, but I don't think dabbing puppy piss out of dense carpeting is a pleasant experience at any frequency.

Her teeth are mini razor blades, and make short work out of anything not constructed from solid granite. Shoes, area rugs, furniture, floor lamps, electrical cords, even the TV cable outlet in the wall have fallen victim to her miniature mandibles. It's a great lesson to learn before producing offspring - anything within reach will be destroyed, and expensive and/or nice things will be the first to go.







But despite all the destruction, the reeking puddles, the barking, and the energetic nipping and biting, it's a great experience, and once she settles down and finally falls asleep at your feet, all is forgiven.

Currently: Enjoying a fine Stella Artois as I relax before bed...

Rendezvous with Vegreville

So I was laying on the floor in the middle of the living room, in what Nicole described as an impossible contortion of elbows and angles, when the good ol' Pysanka showed up on CBC Newsworld. It was an episode of Culture Shock and they had cameras going around Central/Eastern Alberta and documenting all the strange, large Ukrainian monuments. Vegreville clearly took centre stage, overshadowing that town with the giant pyrogy and Mundare with its giant ring of kubasa. Scott's dad was even interviewed to relate the importance of the attraction to the community, and I even learned something new - that the design of the egg was the first use of sophisticated computer graphics!

I seem to have phased back into a sci-fi reading kick as I've dusted off my Rama collection. The first book, Rendezvous with Rama was just as good, if not better, than I remembered. It's very easy to get wrapped up in its story and read the whole thing in one sitting - you just feel compelled to see what's gonna be revealed on the next page. From there, I hit Rama II, which was published 16 years later, and while it was still decent, it contained a lot of stereotypical soap opera crap. Love triangles, over-blown characters, numerous and unnecessary side stories and plots, etc. It did, however, make me want to tackle The Garden of Rama, despite remembering that this series continues to get more absurd with each book. I guess not absurd, per se, but the sense of wonder and discovery in the first book is never really recaptured or built upon adequately.

Currently: Ready to hop into bed...right after I take the puppy out for a walk

This is a Test...

...just updating some Blogger settings. I've got studying to do, so of course this is the best time to start fiddling around with my website minutiae.

Currently: Cramming a half-semester's worth of Karl Marx into my noggin'

The Damned

If it's true that one can judge a society by how their lowliest member is treated, then things aren't looking so hot for us folks with Arts degrees.

Case in point, the status of the washrooms on the UofA campus. The Tory building is one of the buildings used primarily by the Faculty of Arts, and oh! the horrors you'll witness if you venture into its lavatories. Broken faucets with only cold water, cubicles without locks, cake-less urinals, and stacks of brown paper towels to dry your hands. The acrid stench of stale urine is enough to literally peel the paint off the walls. I do not believe they actually clean these washrooms - they're free-range cess-pools. (Can I use that many hyphens in a row?)

In comparison, the attached Business Building has washrooms more elegant and space-aged than Bill Gates' house. Motion sensor toilets, urinals, sink faucets, and paper towel dispensers! All the stalls have functional locks, and there's not a stink to be smelt. Heck, even all the lighting works. Seeing as how both buildings are about the same age, it makes me wonder why all my crumbling Arts buildings haven't been renovated.

Well, no, that's not true...I don't wonder why. I know why. And it's unfortunate indeed.

Currently: Placing free long-distance calls to Tijuana, just for the hell of it.

The Future is Friendly(er)

Yes my friends, a great day is finally upon us. Nicole and I have utterly rid ourselves of Telus! We're now slaves to a different corporate entity - Shaw and their almighty digital phone service.

The world seems a brighter, happier place today.

Currently: Taking the new internet service for a test-drive.

Always Swallow

Take heed and adhere to this pearl of wisdom: always swallow your food before you blow your nose. Trust me, failing to do so is not a pleasant experience. I'd gotten an order of rice from Edo Japan with a bit of sukiyaki sauce on it, and in mid-chew my nose started to run something fierce. I honked into a tissue and amidst the virulrous goo were whole grains of rice...

...still coated in sukiyaki sauce, I believe. If only I had my digital camera with me.

Currently: Lazing around in the glorious, warming sun.

Queen Elizabeth II: Revenge of the Sith

It was a rainy, dreary day. The thermostat barely pushed double digits and a piercing wind howled from all directions. What better English weather to greet the Queen with in the City of Champions? Like all true-blooded members of the Commonwealth, Nicole and I made the most of this occasion - we headed straight for the mall to catch a matinee.

At Nicole's suggestion we went to see Revenge of the Sith, and somewhere between my constantly dripping nose and hallucinogenic fever, I was pretty sure I was seeing a decent movie. By far the best of the new trilogy. Upon returning home we then watched A New Hope and The Empire Strikes Back. That's a whole lotta sci-fi for one evening, and I couldn't be more proud of my sweetie for initiating it. It would appear the geek-factor of this relationship doesn't balance quite as far to my side as I'd previously imagined!

And now I'm off to bed. I'm fully in the grips of an unforgiving cold, and being the big baby that I immediately turn into at the first sign of sickness, all I want to do is pound back the over-the-counters and crawl into bed.

Currently listening to: My heartbeat throb in the side of my head.

Beautiful Day

Another weekend has come and gone, and that means some updated ball hockey stats: matter-of-factly. The weather was absolutely gorgeous on Sunday and we had a whopping 11 players come out. I flirted with my first shutout ever during the first game, eventually winning 10-1. The other team scored on their last shot of the game, though we came right back to finish it up.

The second game, though a losing cause at 10-9, was perhaps the best. The teams were very evenly matched, and both Russ and I managed to pull off some sweet moves. I'd say it was my most complete game in net...now if only I can stop those simple shots from the centre line, all will be well.

By the third game everyone was pretty wiped out, and the sun was beating down even hotter than ever. Even the earlier cloud coverage cowered away from the burning rays. I spotted the other team a 4-goal lead, early in to the game, though the boys managed to rally and pull out a victory. Ha-zah!

Currently: Suffering from a sinus cold...so very, very stuffy. Creativity zapped.

CPAC Tango

Since Nicole and I regained cable, I'm happy to report that for the most part, I've done fairly well at limiting my daily viewing. There's honestly been days where, when I've turned on the idiot-box, it simply served as background noise.

When I do watch, however, I tend to zone in on The Discovery Channel, The Weather Network, and the news. There's no sports highlights to speak of, and aside from a bit of Monday Raw or Sunday evening cartoons, very little of the programming interests me in the least. Most notably, our humble abode remains a Reality TV-Free Zone at all times, no exceptions.

Perhaps it's the palpitable excitement in the air, but all this craziness going on within our federal government actually makes for good entertainment. I've been watching CPAC for almost 2 hours now, this evening, and boy do those politicians enjoy tearing in to one another. It's all screaming, and innuendo and shrewdly veiled threats...and then question period officially begins! I don't believe they're actually getting much accomplished, but damn if it's not enjoyable to watch.

Currently: Contemplating having some more pizza mere minutes before going to bed.

Forget the Sith

Sure, we all know that the final Star Wars movie will be coming out next week, but I'm of the opinion that this gangsta rap video reveals everything you need to know about this fantasy universe.

You can watch the original, which has to be at least 4 years old, and you can also check out the awesome updated version - same catchy tune, but with fancy new animations.

How's about that "most talented" Team Canada ever, eh?

My Poor Body

It seems I'm continually finding new ways to torture my poor, youthful body. Nicole's got me hooked on this crazy cultish fad called "running" and with very little preparation, I seem to enjoy throwing my body in to a few games of ball hockey every 30 days or so.

Tonight ended up being absolutely beautiful weather-wise, with little wind, a warm temperature, and not a cloud in the sky. We managed to get 1.5 games played in 2.5 hours, and if it wasn't for that damn setting sun, I'm sure we would have played quite a bit longer. It seems that the gap between each outing gets longer and longer, so I'm usually so excited to get the opportunity to suit up that I just want to keep playing - regardless of wins or losses. Mentally I seem to get down on myself for piling up the losses, but counting the two tonight, that only leaves me at two games below .500! Hell, a 50/50 chance, that's not so bad!

Anyways, things tend to get a bit silly once the sun sets and you're still playing. Not being able to see the ball once it's in motion is a bit like lightsabre training while blindfolded. You simply have to give in to The Force and hope to hell the ball hits you.

I'd best get off to bed...I've got to pick Nicole up from work in 5 hours, run 6km, sleep for a few more hours, then be at work for 10am. I think my legs are starting to burn already.

Currently: Watching some Discovery Channel after getting the cable hooked back up! We barely lasted 6 weeks without it!

Mrs. Footz Would Be Rolling In Her Grave...

...if she were dead, I suppose. And, you know, if she didn't just roll up and disintegrate like the Wicked Witch of the East at the beginning of Oz.

I was re-reading my post and was appalled to discover how poor my grammer was. Nearly every sentence jumped between present and past tense, not only from one sentence to the next, but also from within!

How on Earth did I get such great marks on 6-years worth of university essays? You know, aside from sleeping with all my professors?

The Summer of Kris

Okay, I might not be sleeping in all day, lounging around the apartment in my underpants, or going on impromptu tours of the Legislature, but I do intend to enjoy each and every moment of it. Well, that and finish up my remaining correspondence coursework, I suppose. Then, then I'm going to buy to biggest-assed frame out there and proudly display that diploma of mine!

Truth be told, I think I'm still in a mild state of shock from the final crunch of exams. Whenever I sit down to compose a post, my mind just draws a blank and I end up staring at the screen for quite a few moments...then I play a few rounds of Trogdor and completely forget about my initial intent.

Let's see. What have I done lately. I guess Nicole and I checked out The Killers in concert, which turned out to be mildly disappointing. It was held at the Shaw Conference Centre, which has terrible acoustics, the "booze area" was about a football field's length away from the stage, and it was all over by 10:30pm. Mid-week, all-ages shows just don't go that extra mile, I suppose. There was very little crowd-interaction and their live performance was virtually identical to their CD sound. After experiencing the Velvet Revolver concert, I'm not sure if any concert will be able to top it...and I don't even like them all that much. It was by far, though, the most explosive rock show I've ever been to. Those veterans really knew how to f'n rock-out.

Somewhere between running, sleeping, and watching DVD television box-sets, Nicole and I also saw The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, which was a fairly decent movie. I've read the entire 5-part trilogy and thoroughly enjoyed Douglas Adams' quirky story telling ability. I'm not quite sure what I would have thought if I hadn't read the books, but Nicole assures me it was pretty good. I would have imagined she'd have left the theatre entertained, yet undoubtedly confused. There was an eerie moment when we realized we were both getting old and cantankerous: the movie was too loud.

And on that note, it's almost 1am and I'm absolutely exhausted...time for bed.

Currently: Updating my VegCam image. You guys were really on to something there.

Nautical Disaster

Good ol' Bosco really threw me a curveball. One day he's lively and vibrant, and the next he's dead as can be.



Since he didn't even last 10 days in my care, I'm starting to think that the bowl I've been using for these Bettas is either cursed or highly contaminated with disease. Either way, I'll be taking him back to the store this evening, so hopefully they've got some pointers that'll help end my deadly reign of terror.

Currently: Huddled for warmpth under several blankets - cold enough out there for ya!?

How's About This Weather?

What can I say; it was absolutely beautiful outside today. Though I didn't actually check a thermometer, I'm fairly confident we were nearing the high teens. It's the kind of weather which awakens certain primitive cravings in a man.

First and foremost, when the weather is this amazing, the "clean your car" survival instinct kicks in. I'm not sure why, but on that first day of nice weather it's almost impossible not to break out the pressure washer and Shop-Vac.

Secondly, it's also of the utmost importance that you go out and hunt down some brewed goodness. The coming of Spring is also the coming of the "fridge must be stocked with beer at all times" period. This continues roughly until the end of the Stanley Cup playoffs...which neatly runs right back into Spring.

Thirdly, it is virtually impossible to avoid migrating to the nearest patio. As sure as Canadian geese migrate south, Canadian hu-mans migrate to patios as soon as the mercury enters double digits. It's also nice to still see the sun after 4:30pm.

Currently: Contemplating a quiet book read on my own patio before bed...

Highliner Draft Dodger

Seeing as how most of our indoor plants have stabilized and don't appear to have immediate plans to expire, I decided it was time to try and inject even more life into the ol' living room.

Fish are cheap, so...



Catholics have a new man in a fancy hat, and now this apartment has Bosco, the latest in the storied line of Skinner bettas. Blinky beget Blinky 2.0 beget "fish that died before being named" beget Bosco. Like counting the months on the hills and valleys of your knuckles, he's destined to live for quite some time, like his predecessor Blinky 2.0.

The original Blinky and fish #3 didn't fare quite so well, despite being aqua-matons that "are hardy enough to survive almost anywhere."

Currently: So very, very tired. Damn you, hill training!

Crack-Caffeine Junkie?

Just could it be possible that these unfortunate (re: absolutely fucking relentless) symptoms I've been experiencing are due to caffeine withdrawal? Though it's often misleading to try and do your own medical research - as invariably you start to think you're sick or dying from anything you read about enough - it's remarkable how many of these general symptoms I'm experiencing.

I fiddled around with this online test and easily checked off more than half of the symptoms as yes. Obviously, to "wake up feeling tired" or experience "periods of fatigue during the day" are not insightful indicators of any one thing, if anything at all, but I guess it's the cumulative number of the withdrawal symptoms which counts.

But if any of this is true, I can certainly sympathize with my poor body for the rounds I put it through prior to not feeling the greatest. For a good chunk of March I was up at all hours of the night working on assignments by maintaining an irregular sleeping pattern and worshiping caffeine. Sure, with school and work and my woeful student finances I was also stressed out, but I wouldn't really say any more so than usual.

I suppose it's reasonable to expect that sleep deprivation and stimulants could start to pound me into submission.

I've purposely avoided caffeine for the past few weeks, and haven't felt all that great the entire time. This morning, however, I pounded back a cup of joe, and for the most part, felt great all day. I guess I'm still undecided if that's a good thing or a bad thing...

Currently: Trying to tear myself away from watching hours upon hours of Six Feet Under.

Totally Orwellian

So, it only took months upon months, but I finally finished reading George Orwell's Burmese Days. I really enjoyed Animal Farm. I absolutely loved Nineteen Eighty-Four. This book, on the other hand, was an absolute bore. In case you've ever been tempted to give it a read, the main character blows his brains out. Shoots his dog too. There. I've ruined the ending for you, and spared you the trouble of slogging through its loathsome pages.

As well, Nicole and I have been reduced to the level of mere commoners - those unwashed masses - ever since our free satellite hookup was disconnected. To be more accurate, Bell "upgraded their system" rendering our pirate card useless. With no signal, we've resorted to watching DVD boxsets of television shows. Two seasons of Futurama and some of Six Feet Under are what we've already downed. We've also got some Curb Your Enthusiasm waiting on deck.

You'll probably have noticed that my updates have been rather sparse over the past few weeks, and that's because I haven't really been feeling all that well. I'm not sure if I'm sick, malnourished, or my body/mind is simply turning on me, but it hasn't been a real treat. For hours of the day I'm absolutely exhausted, with tension enveloping my temples, neck, jaw, and shoulders. On top of that, my mouth and throat are soooo dry...no matter how much or how little I drink. Cold sweats. Loss of appetite. Yet no fever or vomiting. To be completely honest, this has been going on for over 3 weeks now, and I'm really starting to loathe it. I'm usually a big baby when it comes to being sick, so I can't imagine this has been a picnic for those around me either.

Glad I could paint that lovely picture for you! Bah!

Currently: Putting the final touches on my first commercial website layout.

Wooo!

I'm Awesome
My oh my, look who's sitting at .500 with an impressive GAA below 8.0!

With two decisive ball hockey victories over the weekend, I believe it's now fair to say that I "bring that shit" when it comes time to play. Sure, some may argue that the guys playing in front of me were the real contributors to the victories, but I'm gonna milk this for all it's worth.

The only downside to the entire outing was discovering that the mounds of fertilizer Russel used last time to melt the remaining ice had soaked into all my equipment and was breaking it down. Bring out the duct-tape!

I'm Retarded
I must be cracking up. I dragged my post-Wrestlemania butt out of bed to make it to my 8am class, but things did not seem quite right. I arrived about 10 minutes early and was surprised to see that I was the first person there. Usually there's a few early-birds, especially on days when we've got readings to finish for a class discussion.

At 5 minutes to, I was still the only person there.

At the buzzer, I was the only person there.

Apparently the tours of the Edmonton Max were today (Monday) and this upcoming Friday, not Wednesday and Friday like I'd imagined. I can't believe I was the only student in the whole class who managed to mix those dates up. Thank God my tour group is the one going on Friday!

I'm Net-savvy
I've managed to con Nicole's brother-in-law into thinking that I know a thing or two about computers and website design. He's asked me to be the webmaster for his chiropractic clinic's website, and we're finally on the verge of launching.

I anticipate many caffeine fueled evenings.

Currently: Baking a delicious chocolate chip snack cake.

The 17.5% Error

I received my marked research paper this morning, and it ended up being a bittersweet moment. On the one hand, this behemoth of a paper that's worth 40% of my final mark, the paper which I fretted over, uncharacteristically, for over a week, received the highest mark in the class. Unfortunately, I only got 30/40 on it...that's right, 75%.

When I handed in my paper proposal, the professor commented that it was the best synopsis in the class, but that I forgot to mention the articles contained in our textbook. It seems that when it came time to write the actual paper, I over-compensated for that previous deficiency. I scored nearly perfectly in the "theory comprehension" section, but scored 0/7 for the requirement of integrating the class material! Essentially, that 17.5% I squandered could have landed me with a 92.5% on the paper. Though I certainly had the class notes in mind while I was articulating my theses, I suppose I didn't adequately delineate where I was throwing it in.

It's frustrating, to be sure, that I could have made such a mistake. I guess I can take some small comfort in the fact that Dr. Martel has requested a copy of my paper to post on her personal website, as a "stunning" example of a quality 400-level paper.

Currently: Chowing down on some baked pyrogies

Substantial!

Now this idea of mine, I believe, is quite ingenious.

For those of you who have ever had to live away from home, or more precisely, for those of you who have ever had to live away from your own clothes washer and dryer, you'll know that keeping your clothes clean is a real pain in the ass. Not only do apartment/laundromat machines tend to handle small loads, but the cost is actually quite exorbitant. Over here at our place, it's $1.75 to wash, and another $1.75 to dry. That $3.50 could get me a pint during Happy Hour.

Gathering the necessary combination of quarters and loonies for such an operation as a designated "laundry day" is often fraught with logistical complications. First of all, and perhaps most importantly, I usually don't tend to have any money, and when I do, I rely heavily on direct debit. It's pretty hard to amass coins when you're handling virtual dollars. Anyways, every machine needs 1 loonie and 3 quarters over here. Suspiciously short of both, I tore apart the apartment, searching pants pockets, jackets, under cushions to gather all the shrapnel I could. With a tub of nickels and dimes in hand, the light bulb upstairs turned on.

I went down to the lobby and pumped nearly $10 worth of change into the vending machine, bought myself a Kit-Kat, and the change dispensed was all quarters! Bwahahahhahaa!

Currently: Doing 3 loads of laundry on 3 different floors of the building.

Ritualistic Competition

Make no mistake about it, a simple dinner party is not as innocent as it might seem. I contend that it's an ancient tribal ritual, sanctioned by the Gods to test the mettle and perseverance of even the most confident of young couples.

The Masters (Nicole's sister, her husband, and their food-scarfing munchkin) will be coming over for an evening of dining tomorrow, and we've already made certain preparations to foil their attempted social aggression - in our own territory, yet! How very brazen of them. When thrust into such a situation, the formula for success is to:

• Remember all those times that they invited you over to their place and placated your culinary sovereignty with tasty feasts and...
• ...make damn well sure that when you finally reciprocate, you've concocted the most tantalizing assortment of grilled goods possible.
• It also helps to administer copious amounts of alcohol (re: booze) to smooth over any deficiencies in "hosting" performance or food quality.

Yes, that's right, it's a form of peer-to-peer Cold War, and the only path to victory is more...more of everything than what they have. They serve you pepperoni pizza at their place, you invite them over to yours for pepperoni and bacon pizza. There's a cold calculation/tabulation behind any "couple visiting couple" scenario, and oh!, Lord knows what other ulterior motives. In fact, I'm 75% sure of it. Insidious, indeed.

Currently: Marinating what will soon become the most succulent, most flavourful, most tender of shish kebobs assembled thus far in all of human existence.

Riddle Me This, Kaler?

My afternoon "Population and Social Policy" class was witness to one of those rare moments in human experience, where an intangible, perhaps psychic bond united us students.

Every week we have group discussion, and if you can recall from previous posts, I do not like the group discussion format. By and large I find it ineffective. Typically no new thought is generated beyond that necessary to read the 3-page hand-in discussion notes which we've all prepared. Apparently I am not alone in my dislike for this redundant and ineffective exercise.

With less than 30 minutes in the class, it looked like the professor was wrapping up her lecture, and with a sensible hint of mass panic (perhaps despair?) we all realized that we'd soon be broken up arbitrarily into groups and forced to "discuss." Then it happened...

One by one, we students started asking the professor questions about her lecture. Most student/professor dialogue in this particular class consists of one talkative guy and one talkative girl throwing out random queries to the professor - sometimes these vocalizations aren't even questions, but vague references of "I read this article that..." or "In my other SOC class I learned...". Anyways, these participation mark Showboaters took a back seat as we bombarded the front of the room with questions.

Obviously taken aback by this sudden outburst of interaction, the professor embraced the moment, somewhat reminiscent of a lonely puppy getting a belly-rub from dozens of gawkers. So, one by one, we submitted queries until barely 5 minutes remained, at which point the whole process ended abruptly.

End of class! Students: 1, Teacher: 0.

Currently: Searching online job postings. The PRL limits me to 15 hrs/wk, and that just won't cut it financially.

The Motherload

What a glorious, glorious day! This ranks right up there with discovering that we could watch scrambled porn in Jeremy's basement if we looked at the picture on one TV, and listened to the sound from the TV in the other corner. Our dual-screen technology greatly enhanced many a sleepover. It was our PornoDS, 15 years ahead of its time. So here we go - a whole slew of great things happened today!

#1 Gregg pulled through for me and picked up an assortment of doughnuts from Krispy Kreme in Calgary. Those bastards who prescribed to the Atkins Diet caused the company to lose a great deal of money, and their Edmonton expansion got axed. I was beginning to fear that I'd never get a taste. Here's what I nabbed from his goodie box:


Oh, and I also got a little paper hat, emblazoned with their catchy slogan "Eat Krispy Kreme Doughnuts." Glorious!

#2 I got to tour the Edmonton Correctional Facility for Women. It's located in the middle of an industrial area along 178St. and 111Ave. It was a fieldtrip, more or less, with my SOC421 (Society and Punishment) class, and we were there for about an hour. The facility isn't much like a prison, but reminded me more of a female workcamp. Instead of cells, the inmates live in a cul-de-sac of houses, 10 rooms apiece. They cook and clean for themselves, and more often than not, work for the correctional facility either as maintenance staff or in the CORCAN shop. It was an interesting place to visit, and I can't wait to compare it to my upcoming tour of the Edmonton Max.

#3 If it's good enough for Magnum P.I., then it's good enough for me! As of today, Nicole and I are officially heading on down to Hawaii in October. We'll be trekking along with her sister's family, and staying at a family timeshare - so once we get our airfare covered we'll all set. I highly doubt Jetsgo had flights to Hawaii, so I'm confident ticket prices haven't changed much for that particular destination. How can I afford this, you ask? That's a very good question. What I do know is that I'll have convocated and been working for a bit, most likely with Tri-City Drilling, before we take off. Until then I'll be saving my pennies by eating things stuck to the undersides of benches and tables.

#4 I discovered that I'm not completely inept when it comes to home plant care. Apparently daffodils are supposed to wilt and die a few days after they bloom. You then save the bulbs in paper bags and re-plant them in the spring. It sure would have been nice to know that little tidbit before I thought myself horrible for killing off two consecutive plants.

#5 Apparently the door to our suite is not broken, is not sitting strangely in the frame, and is not sticking for some unfathomable reason. The door mat was bunched up underneath it...yeah...that's about it. 12 years of University education between the two of us, and it didn't get figured out for several days.

#6 I got my income tax refund, and the government was kind enough to pay me $20 more than I paid out to them. The arrival of the money was cause for much joy. Then I paid my tuition and the utility bills, and it's pretty much gone. The spending of the money was cause for much sorrow.

Currently listening to: Well, if this had been the other night, wind horrendously whistling from our patio doors.

Gruesome Acts of Mach-italism

George, apparently, is buying a really cool looking book about the evils of capitalism. I can't wait for him to finish it, come down for the weekend to get schooled at ball hockey, and then place the finished book in my grubby hands. I despise Capitalism so much, in fact, that I insidiously refuse to "feed the system" by ensuring that I never have any money whatsoever.

That's right. I want that book first. I've already done unspeakable things to get Gregg to bring my Krispy Kreme doughnuts from Calgary, and I won't be denied.

Currently: Running over to Gregg's @ 11:30pm to eat pastries.

I Need Booze

The first of two term research papers has been completed, and it's a veritable tome at 21-pages.

I would type out a post, but I've typed so many words lately, and stared at this damn monitor for so long, that I can barely subject myself to such a thing.

It is done. I am glad. Let us dance.

Currently: Enjoying a Crown and Coke over a few turns of Rome: Total War.

My Substantial Girth

Still mired in the complexities of my term paper, I've decided to tackle my data-budgeting needs by utilizing a peculiar device which has remained relatively unknown throughout my academic career: the almighty hi-liter.

I always thought it absurd to glance at a fellow competitor/classmate's notes and be blinded by a sea of neon fluorescence. If every word on the page is hi-lited, then you might want to refocus your studies on what's really important.

Anyways, Nicole emerged from the depths of our apartment with this ginormous hi-liter that, apparently, "served [her] well through two years of university. So don't wreck it." Quite honestly, its sheer size is a sight to behold:



Magnificent!

Currently: Enjoying a fine cup of green tea.

"Oh, no, I've gone cross-eyed."

"Best synopsis of the class...however, you forgot to discuss Garland. 9/10"

That's the comment that my SOC421 professor left at the end of my research paper synopsis. Try as I might, I can't help but chuckle out loud whenever I read it. The 12-16 page paper, on some aspect of crime and punishment, revolves around one very specific requirement - that the theoretical basis of your argument is supported by a chapter in Garland's book.

I'll be honest, I still hadn't chosen a chapter from the text at the time I handed in my synopsis. You might argue that my BS glands were in overdrive to produce anything at all. The final paper is due on Monday, so that's no longer the case (I'll be utilizing his chapters on Foucoult, and to a small extent, Marx) but I still can't help but look back and chuckle.

Currently listening to: The Weakerthans - Plea From a Cat Named Virtue

Deflowered

Try as I might, I seem to be cursed with the horticultural touch of death. Hardy plants, raised specifically to grow under the most extreme of conditions simply wither at my touch. I'm not entirely sure what I'm doing wrong, but nothing I try really seems to help any of my indoor plants survive.

What's frustrating is that these plants can do so well in, say, Safeway, or Home Depot, but the moment I buy one and take it home, the death process begins instantly! Some minimum-wage lackey with an errant garden hose outperforms my gardening skills by a significant margin.

Damn my lack of a green thumb...












Currently: Uh, not pirating all the Weakerthans albums for my sweetie.

Gator Skin Cars

Oh, the things you do when you're supposed to be studying:

Session Start (hungrypotato0853:beevatron2000): Tue Mar 08 21:08:01 2005
[21:08] beevatron2000: hey sexy
[21:30] hungrypotato0853: Don't even START with that!
[21:30] beevatron2000: with the what?
[21:31] hungrypotato0853: One of Nicole's friends was over here the other day, on my IM, talking all sexy and dirty to Jeremy.
[21:31] beevatron2000: hey this is Jeremy and I thought it was you
[21:32] hungrypotato0853: Ah, yeah...so...this is awkward.
[21:33] hungrypotato0853: You wearing any pants?
[21:33] beevatron2000: do you want me to be wearing pants?
[21:33] beevatron2000: penis
[21:34] hungrypotato0853: Switch your Weakerthans tickets to Thursday. I'm too lazy to get mine exchanged,
[21:35] beevatron2000: but it might be more difficult to get all our tickets changed
[21:36] hungrypotato0853: I suppose that's a sacrifice YOU'RE gonna have to make.
[21:37] beevatron2000: yeah we'll meet you there thursday.
[21:38] hungrypotato0853: No, no, no...I told Nicole that I was already gonna exchange ours for Friday, so I'd better get my ass in gear.
[21:39] beevatron2000: sound good because i had no intention of change my tickets. How you like them apples?
[21:39] hungrypotato0853: 'bout the reaction I expected.
[21:40] beevatron2000: so we're on the same page sexy
[21:41] beevatron2000: april is going to be a busy month for me
[21:42] beevatron2000: I'm moving, I have four concerts to go too
[21:42] hungrypotato0853: Aren't you supposed to start making kids too? Wasn't that part of your April plans?
[21:43] beevatron2000: yep I'm going to have to knock up alexandra soon
[21:45] hungrypotato0853: 'bout time, too.
[21:46] beevatron2000: I'll name them all Kris, all eight of them.
[21:47] hungrypotato0853: Kris
[21:47] hungrypotato0853: Chris
[21:47] hungrypotato0853: Kristopher
[21:47] hungrypotato0853: Christopher
[21:48] hungrypotato0853: Kristoffer
[21:48] hungrypotato0853: Christoffer
[21:48] hungrypotato0853: Well, that's at least 6 covered.
[21:48] beevatron2000: maybe we'll just eat the other two
[21:49] hungrypotato0853: Pfft. There's good money in selling those things.
[21:49] hungrypotato0853: You could get yourself a nice car or some gator skin boots.
[21:49] beevatron2000: gator skin car
[21:50] hungrypotato0853: That's awesome.
[21:50] beevatron2000: there all the rage in rome
[21:51] beevatron2000: you and nicole should get in on this baby selling.
[21:53] hungrypotato0853: Well, you know how it is. Why milk the cow when you can buy cheese at the store. That kinda thing.
[21:54] hungrypotato0853: Actually, I'm not really sure what I just said...
[21:54] beevatron2000: hey sounds good to me
[21:56] hungrypotato0853: Anyways, I suppose I have some studying to do, so I'd better get back to it. If you need help moving, I think I changed my phone number, so don't bother calling.
[21:56] beevatron2000: cool

Currently listening to: The Weakerthans – Psalm for the Elks Lodge Last Call

"No, you see, we fixed the glitch."

Remember that time I tried selling my body to science and partly into the case study it was cancelled because the drugs being tested caused severe liver damage in dog test subjects? Well, being part of a Sociological discussion panel was nothing like that experience.

Basically we were pre-testing a survey questionnaire that a professor at the PRL was hoping to begin in a few weeks. Without revealing the confidential nature of the session, it focused on 24-3o year olds and their reasons for living at home or on their own. I was the second youngest group member of us 8, and only 1 of 3 members who were currently living away from home. That, to me, was a bit shocking. Every university graduate there was back to living at home, or had never moved out. I had the unique experience of moving out at 17, moving back home after a few years of independence, then heading back on out again.

Other interesting aspects of the study were questions pertaining to adulthood. Do you consider yourself an adult? When did you start seeing yourself as one? What factors do you think are necessary? It's increasingly vague in our society just when you "officially" pass from one development stage to the next. There's no intricate ceremony that, tadah!, instantly transforms you into an adult. Is it when you move out? When you graduate from school? When you turn 18? When you get your first real job? How about as soon as you start a family...or enter into a dedicated relationship? It's interesting to ponder. Do you think your parents view you as an adult?

The feedback and criticisms from our panel aided the professor in making any necessary changes to his survey, and it was awesome to see the development which goes behind such an undertaking. More importantly, we were each paid in cash money, pizza, refreshments, and delicious cookies for our input.

Currently: Wishing that I had not taken a Robaxacet, thinking it was an Immodium.

Jamaican Holiday

I highly suggest, for those of you who enjoy tasty beer experiences, that you track down a 6-pack of Red Stripe beer. I picked it up from the liquor store while I was returning an empty keg for the deposit money, and I've been pleasantly surprised by how good it actually is.

To a certain degree, the taste is like a slightly less sharp Heinken. Most appealing of all, however, are the stubby-necked bottles that this brew comes in. Exquisite!

Currently: Enjoying a midnight beer with my midnight grub, as my anger and frustration of 3 hours ago subsides.

The Chosen One

It seems that good things come to those who network. While applying for a position at the Population Research Lab, I'd chosen to use Professor McVey as one of my professional references. He'd actually retired, but due to staffing shortages, he'd been asked to come back and teach Spring/Summer Term courses. He's still teaching as we speak, so it appears that his temporary re-employment has been extended.

The other evening I received a call from one of the directors at the PRL, asking me if I'd like to partake in an upcoming focus group. I assumed this was something that a large portion of the staff was being asked to do, and since I was new to the job, she was just getting around to adding me to that list.

On this account, however, I was wrong. It appears that I'm only one of six people chosen for this assignment. This paid assignment.

I was hand-picked by the research coordinator, due to my glowing letter of reference from Professor McVey! I'll be aiding him in testing, and making suggestions on, questions he'll be using in an upcoming survey about students and their decisions to move out or stay at home, their opinions on what "adulthood" entails, etc. Another focus is on socio-cultural differences.

What can I say...I'm honoured to have my class performance come full-circle and aid me, no matter how small the degree, for my chosen field of study.

Currently: Making some midnight Hamburger Helper to celebrate!

The Gluttony and The Pain

The Olive Garden is a very dangerous place to go when you're looking for a "bite" to eat. I've yet to enjoy an actual dinner within the confines of the restaurant's walls, because I don't tend to make it past the unlimited breadsticks and soup/salad they bombard your table with. I've concluded it's useless to fight the urge to devour round upon round of these items, as they're decidedly damn delicious. Once you satiate your cravings for garlicky appetizers, and your actual ordered meal arrives, I believe it's only proper etiquette to sample everything on your plate (one bite will do!) before handing it back over to the server to package up for home.

In order to work up that appetite I was fortunate enough to play a few games of ball hockey, which somewhat resembled a few rounds of NHL Hitz 2003. For those of you who know that particular game, then you'll instantly understand that it was a goal-scorers afternoon. I was lucky enough to win 2 of the 3 games, but there wasn't anything pretty about it. November 28 was the last time I played, and as the lapse between games increases, it seems my body's ability to recover afterwards drastically decreases. Ooohhh....

Currently: Thankful that the neighbour knocked on the door and pointed out that my keys were still hanging in the lock.

Functionally Rewarding

The University of Alberta is like a second home to me. I base this association on the staggering portion of my young life spent within its confines - over 1/4 of it, to be precise.

In a somewhat satisfying twist of fate, I can now also call this institution of higher learning my workplace. It's a mutual agreement, whereby I endlessly scavenge a great deal of money to retain enrollment, and they harvest my analytical skills for a somewhat incomparable wage. Nonetheless, I am proud to be working within the Department of Sociology's Population Research Laboratory as a Surveyor and potential Research Analyst. A job, unexpectedly, which directly relates to my degree of study. The correlation is strong. The line direct.

I completed my first shift this morning, at it was far more rewarding, far more academic than my wildest expectations. An actual, professional, working environment filled with respect and trust!? Marvelous!

Currently: Hoping that Nicole won't have to be "put down" because of her bad hip.

Nana, nana, nana, nana, naaahh...Taxman!

Kris: 1. Federal Government: 0. There might not be winners and losers when it comes to tax season, but this year marks the first time I've filed my taxes entirely by myself, and if I've done my calculations correctly, I should be cashing in a four-figure cheque.

Of course, if I haven't done my calculations correctly, I can expect a friendly visit from Auditman...Taxman's far less endearing, hard-assed stepbrother.

They don't operate debtors prison anymore, do they?

Currently listening to: The Weakerthans - One Great City!

If I Were One of Those Guys...

Oh my goodness...

...do I ever feel like garbage this morning, er, afternoon. Nicole and I headed out to the Purple Onion last night for "power hour." I like to refer to the P.O. as the "high class, white trash" bar of the city. Anyways, between 8 - 9pm, hiballs were a mere $1/each. As you only have an hour to take advantage of this scandalous deal, the trick is to order as many drinks as soon as you arrive. In our case, we each grabbed 9 doubles, equaling about 18 oz of booze.

There were these guys from Calgary at our tables, and this particularly loud-mouthed one didn't waste more than a few moments before he started working his angle on Nicole. He was allowed one strike, I figured, as not only did he look hopelessly incompetent, but had apparently been drinking since 4pm. When it eventually dawned on him that Nicole and I were, in fact, "an item," he was cowed into silence and averted our collective gazes.

As the night progressed, I learned that the new $20 bill looked really cool under black light. My new shirt, on the other hand, did not. What started as a light blue shirt, instantly became a beacon of pink, which caught the attention of more than a few hillbillies and metalheads. It was here that moron #1 got the nerve to open his yap again. It was really unfortunate that he did, because what followed was both unexpected and disturbing: "Dude, if I were one of those guys who checked out other guys...you're the best looking guy here in a pink shirt."

At first I didn't really know what to say. Thanks? Do I sucker punch him in the throat? I chose confused silence and incoherent mumbling.

We capped our drunken escapades off by chowing down at Sam Wok. I'll be honest, I have a sneaky suspicion that the food there would be great even if you weren't completely blitzed. It didn't take long for the 4 of us to absolutely destroy 5 delicious dishes of super-happy Cantonese delight! I'll need to check it out during the middle of the week to test my delicious-ness suspicion.

One final thought, coconuts are easier to crack open than I anticipated, even with a hammer and corkscrew, but what you'll find inside is vile to the extreme.

Currently: Rehydrating, rehydrating, rehydrating...

Suite 1508: Total War

I swear I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

Not to any degree of severity, mind you, but obsessive tendencies none-the-less. Case in point - my continual playing of the game Rome: Total War. I just can't seem to help myself. It is a very, very good game, this is true. But it is also a game with very little payoff at the end. Upon first conquering the S.P.Q.R. (and most of the then civilized world), I was so upset with the pithy "Congrats! You win!" ending that I uninstalled the game in a blind moment of rage. Yet here I am, back in front of my computer, playing the damn thing yet again.

I think I now have some idea of how smokers must feel.

Currently: Happy to be back in my own bed...don't bother visiting Grand Cache. It totally sucks over there.

Jesus is F'n Metal

Nicole has been one busy gal with the concert hook-ups. Here's what we're booked for already:

March 29 - Velvet Revolver
April 21 - The Weakerthans
April 26 - The Killers
May 19 - Green Day

It's gonna be a fine spring, my friends, a fine spring indeed.