I've been supremely mislead by the machinations of corporate advertising. I know, I know, you might be shocked to hear this as well, but the product I've seen advertised in no way lived up to my expectations.
It’s new. It’s hot. It’s spicy. It’s something different from Dairy Queen®.
It’s the FLAMETHROWER™ Burger on the Dairy Queen menu just in time for National Hamburger Month in May. The FlameThrower™ is made with two all-beef patties, whole leaf lettuce and sliced tomato, and topped with zesty Jalapeño bacon, spicy Pepper Jack cheese and tangy Tabasco Chipotle mayonnaise.
Though still a tasty burger, by no means should Tabasco be considered a flavouring of cataclysmic consequences. Are there really people out there who recoil at the extremeness of zesty Jalapeño bacon? And while we're at it, just what the fuck is "zesty" supposed to mean? It's kinda like "tangy," in that neither of the words means a damn thing. Do you know the difference between zesty and tangy? If I put pepper on a banana, does that make it zesty!? They're both fabrications of the food in dustry to facilitate selling mediocre products with exciting descriptions.
However, the bottom line is that I did not whimper in fear at the burger, did not torch my surroundings with an ultra cool napalm breath, and certainly did not think that I finally found a restaurant item which lived up to the claim of being insanely hot.
Currently listening to: The Weakerthans - Aside
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
When I get some working batteries for my digi-cam, I'll post pics of a new hot sauce I bought reminiscent of our Spontaneous Combustion days.
Ah yes, that Spontaneous Combustion sauce was something else, wasn't it!? I was pleasantly surprised by the kick it was able to provide and the tears of searing pain it was able to induce.
Post-Armageddon, all that would remain would be cockroaches and bottles of S.C. sauce, unless, of course, the cockroaches try the delicious condiment - then...only sauce.
Post a Comment