Tyrannosaurus Maizey: 1, Pre-Historic Evergreen: 0

Game, set, and match. What the mighty dinosaurs and the frigid Ice Age could not accomplish, Maizey has done so in less than 24hrs!

As you can imagine, I was quite excited when my Amazing Desktop Dinosaur Plant arrived in the mail. I was absolutely convinced it was the one plant I'd be able to keep alive...so much for that optimistic theory.

Lo, and gaze upon yon utter destruction:








The plant-killer herself. Look at those ravenous eyes!

Fig. A - "Ravenous!"
Currently: Getting ready to head on back to work.

Expired Narcotics

I'm starting to understand just how Dad must feel at times, though his back has about 30 more years on it than mine.

Bound and determined to do something exciting and memorable during Nicole's days off work, we solidified plans to rent some cross-country skis and amble around Elk Island National Park. After checking the park website it was determined that Maizey couldn't come with us on the trails, so I playfully swept her off the bed for a brief moment of rough stuff before putting her in her kennel. After a few seconds of wriggling fun I was blinded by shooting, stabbing pain and crumpled to the floor in a moaning heap. It hurt to breathe. It hurt to straighten up. It hurt to do anything but stay perfectly still.

I couldn't believe, especially considering the physical work I do, that I'd pulled my back lifting a 50lb dog.

Though I'd just ruined our splendid plans for the day, Nicole was at least level-headed enough to get me to a chiropractor ASAP, who worked me over nicely. It hurt to breathe because several of my ribs were out of place, so he got those back in line with a series of sickening pops. He then twisted and turned me for a few more minutes, despite my whimpering and grimacing.

As of right now I feel okay, since I've been laying around most of the day, but it would sure be better is my Tylenol 3's hadn't expired in early 2004...

Currently: Marveling at my new, virtually un-killable, Pre-Historic Evergreen!

It Truly Is A Dog's Life

I had originally planned to use this post to bitch about and/or chronicle how exasperated Edmonton's record snowfall had left me, but figured it would be far more pleasant to let you enjoy the sight of Maizey and her new, utterly gargantuan rawhide bone! Behold:





The little monster devoured her first rawhide bone in mere hours, so having been once thwarted, I upped the ante with something a bit more sizeable. It's been nearly a week and she's barely dented it! Ha! That is why I posess the opposible thumbs and the highly developed frontal lobe and the whatnot.

Currently: Getting ready to hop into bed after enjoying a night out at the Princess Theatre.

"Uh, Supernintendo Chalmers!

Lo and behold, the Universe has seen fit to put the impressionable youths of the nation under my, eventual, educational tutiledge. I've been accepted into the Elementary Education After Degree program at the University of Alberta! Soon it will be time for me to retreat from the "real world" back to the cozy confines of academia...I might as well go shopping for my leather-elbowed tweed sports jacket post haste.

Currently: Working the secretary angle here at Champion Chiropractic.

So Fresh and So Clean, Clean...

While at work we had a few hours (re: nine of 'em) of sitting around while waiting for the cementers to arrive, so we took it upon ourselves to install a brand new lens cleaning station. Two screws, two nuts, and two washers later, the sparkling white contraption was in place:



Currently listening to: Death Cab For Cutie - Soul Meets Body

Interesting Logic

Did God Create Evil?

The university professor challenged his students with this
question:

"Did God create everything that exists?"

A student bravely replied "Yes, he did!"

"God created everything?" the professor asked.

"Yes sir," the student replied.

The professor answered, "If God created everything, then God
created evil since evil exists, and according to the principal that
our works define who we are, then God is evil."

The professor was quite pleased with himself and boasted to the
students that he had proven once more that the Christian faith was
a myth.

Another student raised his hand and said, "Can I ask you a question
professor?"

"Of course," replied the professor.

The student stood up and asked, "Professor , does cold exist?"

The professor replied "Of course it exists. Have you never been
cold?"

The students snickered at the young man's question.

The young man replied, "In fact sir, cold does not exist.
According to the laws of physics, what we consider cold is in
reality the absence of heat.

Everybody or object is susceptible to study when it has or
transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body, or matter, have or
transmit energy. Absolute zero (- 460 degrees F) is the total
absence of heat. Cold does not exist. We have created this word
to describe how we feel if we have no heat.

The student continued. "Professor, does darkness exist?"

The professor responded, "Of course it does."

The student replied, "Once again you are wrong sir. Darkness does
not exist either. Darkness is in reality the absence of light.
Light, we can study, but not darkness. In fact we can use Newton's
prism to break white light into many colors and study the various
wavelengths of each color. You cannot measure darkness. A simple
ray of light can break into a world of darkness and illuminate it.
How can you know how dark a certain space is? You measure the
amount of light present. Isn't this correct? Darkness is a term
used by man to describe what happens when there is no light
present."

Finally the young man asked the professor. "Sir, does evil exist?"

Now uncertain, the professor responded, "Of course, as I have
already said. We see it every day. It is in the daily example of
man's inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and
violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing
else but evil."

To this the student replied, "Evil does not exist sir, or at least
it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God.
It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to
describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is the
result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in
his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat or
the darkness that comes when there is no light."

The professor sat down.

The young man's name --- Albert Einstein

Currently: Enjoying a quick 32 hours off work before returning to Whitecourt, AB.