I probably wrote that line, or various indistinguishable permutations of it, at least a few dozen million times at work this evening. There's moments when this bastardized short-hand of the English language sends shivers down my spine and cools my endtrails - does the term "Newspeak" mean anything to you? How about "Ingsoc"? That's right, having finished my annual reading of George Orwell's masterpiece Nineteen Eighty-Four, I feel like some sort of comrade deep in the heart of the Ministry of Learning, working like mad on my own little task, kept from seeing the larger picture of just what we're collectively accomplishing.
My actual reason for posting, though, it that I wanted to proclaim loudly that Spring in Edmonton Sucks. I worked a 7-hour shift this evening, and whereas I was able to rollerblade to work without a jacket, I almost lost my ears to the swirling winds and bitter, slushy cold on my way home! The weather programs may have warned me about today for the past few days, but that doesn't negate the fact that the weather choosing to turn 180 degrees on a whim is totally unacceptable.
I mean, it's 2004 already! Where's the flying cars, moon buses, and satellite controlled weather? Somewhere between 1950 and now scientists and inventors have gone horribly astray. Sure, I might be able to get an erection at 80 with a half-life of 24hrs, but what good is that if I'm not "doing" some 4-breasted space babe from another galaxy...over my lunch hour!?
Freak snow storms and lost appendages are not what I would have envisioned, that's for sure.
Mayor Bill Smith will be the first to orate that we Edmontonians live in the "greatest city, in the greatest province, in the greatest country in the world [and greatest galaxy in the greatest universe, I would assume - Ed.]!" but I don't see him pushing City Council to immediately fund some sort of fantastical environmental dome over this unpredictable burg. You better hope this isn't an election year, mister, because judging by the Mother of all Ear Aches that I've got going on, you've just lost yourself a vote.
Currently: Rebuilding my "completely legal" mp3 collection.
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