The [K]ome-back Kid

Despite some initial frustrations in getting ball hockey started on time, the evening played out rather nicely. Having not played in nearly a month (there were cobwebs in my goalie equipment!), still slightly pissed off from the pre-game confusion, not given a single warm-up shot, and facing a decade-tuned Vegreville squad, I completely self-destructed in a quick 10-1 loss.

Thankfully, things improved from there. I picked up victories in the next two games (10-7, 10-9), where the final game was a come-from-behind victory that saw my team down 9-7 and then score 3 unanswered goals for the sweet, sweet win. It's not very often that comebacks occur, especially when the other team is one goal away from ending it.

It's nice to see that what was perhaps my final Sunday of ball hockey, before heading back to work with Tri-City Drilling, ended on a hard-earned, winning note.

Speaking of returning to work, it's still slowly sinking in that I've written my final UofA exam as an undergraduate...completing my degree has been such a looooonggg process that I was truly starting to feel there was NO END to it. My time at the University of Alberta has been the source of both my greatest achievement and shame.

I went from nearly failing out of school entirely, to now flirting with the possibility of convocating with Distinction. Ultimately, I refused to give up on what's, arguably, an unmarketable Sociology/Anthropology Bachelor of Arts degree. For that I can be proud of my accomplishments.

On the other hand, I tend to be very hard on myself when it comes to failure or not living up to perceived expectations, and for every 10 things I might've done right, a single negative point is capable of overshadowing everything. I dwell on my mistakes and shortcomings - the "outta's" and "shoulda's" of the past years. It frustrates me to no end that I have such a hard time seeing that I've done well, made the most of an unfortunate and complicated situation, but instead constantly fear that I've been a burden and embarrassment to the loved ones in my life.

It's so easy to feel incompetent when you see the thousands, upon thousands of students who finish up in four years, graduate, and start working, whereas every similar stage has never been easy for me. I see people my age, and younger, with decent paying jobs/careers, their own homes, fiances and wives, whereas I've been trying to live off ~$5/day for the past half-decade and depend on others just to eat on a daily basis.

Words cannot express how thankful I am to Nicole, my family, and friends for supporting me. I get overwhelmed just thinking about the confidence everyone has had in me, even when I'd convinced myself that I was an unnecessary burden, undeserving of second-, third-, fourth-(and counting) chances. Thank you. Thank you all so very much.

With the coming of September comes the beginning of the next true stage in my life, and I like to think of it as the starting point for giving something back to all those who have supported me. My time at university, especially the last two years, has necessitated a focus on me, where I was the centre of focus, often to the sacrifice and detriment of those around me. It's time to get to work. It's time to shoulder my share (and more) of the responsibilities in my life and support those who've postponed and given-up so much for me.

In the short-term it means having to go back to a job which keeps me away 21-days of the month and progressively breaks my body and subdues my spirits, but that's a personal sacrifice that pales in comparison to all I've received.

Currently: Watching the dog chew on her new squeak toy.