If I Were One of Those Guys...

Oh my goodness...

...do I ever feel like garbage this morning, er, afternoon. Nicole and I headed out to the Purple Onion last night for "power hour." I like to refer to the P.O. as the "high class, white trash" bar of the city. Anyways, between 8 - 9pm, hiballs were a mere $1/each. As you only have an hour to take advantage of this scandalous deal, the trick is to order as many drinks as soon as you arrive. In our case, we each grabbed 9 doubles, equaling about 18 oz of booze.

There were these guys from Calgary at our tables, and this particularly loud-mouthed one didn't waste more than a few moments before he started working his angle on Nicole. He was allowed one strike, I figured, as not only did he look hopelessly incompetent, but had apparently been drinking since 4pm. When it eventually dawned on him that Nicole and I were, in fact, "an item," he was cowed into silence and averted our collective gazes.

As the night progressed, I learned that the new $20 bill looked really cool under black light. My new shirt, on the other hand, did not. What started as a light blue shirt, instantly became a beacon of pink, which caught the attention of more than a few hillbillies and metalheads. It was here that moron #1 got the nerve to open his yap again. It was really unfortunate that he did, because what followed was both unexpected and disturbing: "Dude, if I were one of those guys who checked out other guys...you're the best looking guy here in a pink shirt."

At first I didn't really know what to say. Thanks? Do I sucker punch him in the throat? I chose confused silence and incoherent mumbling.

We capped our drunken escapades off by chowing down at Sam Wok. I'll be honest, I have a sneaky suspicion that the food there would be great even if you weren't completely blitzed. It didn't take long for the 4 of us to absolutely destroy 5 delicious dishes of super-happy Cantonese delight! I'll need to check it out during the middle of the week to test my delicious-ness suspicion.

One final thought, coconuts are easier to crack open than I anticipated, even with a hammer and corkscrew, but what you'll find inside is vile to the extreme.

Currently: Rehydrating, rehydrating, rehydrating...