Forget Tibet, Free China!

Truly, may God have mercy on their souls, all 1,000,000,000+ of them. I'm not referring to anything the Chinese President has alluded to during his recent visit to Canada, but that's quite possibly because his aides have kept this vital information from him: Nate is teaching English to the Chinese.

Yes, that's right, Master Homobot himself is in the land of rice paddies and bootleg DVDs, seeding the beginnings of the Engrish language into their impressionable minds. Around 5am the other day, he popped onto Messenger to inform me that he and Alicia have been there since the beginning of September.

They were originally planning for Japan, but I guess they got a great offer for China. Nate claims living expenses are ridiculously low, and he's already amassed a collection of bootleg movies and cheap electronics. Drop the kids a line (shasty6969@hotmail.com) as I'm sure they'd appreciate some Canadian contact.

Currently: Trying to install SW: KOTOR 2: TSL.

The Definitive Test?

I was quite surprised with the results of this thing - it's pretty cool, actually. Give it a shot and see how accurate it is for the rest of you:

www.howsexyareu.com

I apologize for the nudie banner ads, but...have fun!

Currently listening to: Death From Above 1979 - You're A Woman, I'm A Machine.

"The Human Adventure Is Just Beginning"

That, apparently, is the tag-line for Star Trek: The Motion Picture.

While browsing the internet for classic movie trailers, I stumbled upon the one for this first Trek movie, and it piqued my interest. I've only watched the movie once, years ago, despite the fact that I've watched the other nine a few times each. Hell, I've watched Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan perhaps more times than any other movie (maybe not more than The Monster Squad)...but don't get me started on that epic sci-fi masterpiece.

ST:TMP is not a very good movie. The plot is paper thin, even for a Star Trek movie, and it's pacing is several factors slower than 2001: A Space Odyssey, believe it or not. For 1979 it looks pretty good, but the first hour is really nothing more than wide-angle shots of the Enterprise to variations of the orchestrated theme. In the meantime, a doe-eyed Kirk stares in wonder. Zzzzzzz....

Which is exactly why I rented the Special Directors Edition the other night - to put me to sleep. Mission accomplished, though I had nightmares that I too was unable to logically conclude that V---ger was simply Voyager covered by a bit of space dust.

Bah!

Currently: The victim of attending another crappy Edmonton Eskimos loss.

T-Minus...

...a few days and counting. I'll be getting that call from Tri-City Drilling any day now, so don't be alarmed if I sort of drop off the face of the planet at a moment's notice.

For my glorious return to the life of a planet/nature destroyer/rapist, I've decided I'll be chronicling my journey. It started out that I was going to track my spending and expenses, right down to the penny, but then I totally got OCD. I'll be logging my mileage, each town I stay in, how many wells I help drill...basically everything I can think of. It will be a body of work only fascinating to myself, but it'll keep my mind active. It's a shame I'm not a PhD student doing an ethnography on rig workers.

Methinks I've taken one too many quantitative social research classes.

Currently listening to: Our Lady Peace - Healthy in Paranoid Times.

Lady Luck

Last night, by far, was the most expensive night of poker I've ever experienced, despite the fact that I was not playing for money. Things wrapped up fairly late, and I was in a bit of a hurry to get home, so I failed to remember a steel pole was waiting at the end of the driveway.

You can imagine my car didn't stand a chance:

Car Damage 01
Car Damage 02
Car Damage 03
Car Damage 04
Car Damage 05
Car Damage 06

Slowly but surely, I'm making sure my car won't be worth a penny.

Currently: Thinking that those pop stains on the ceiling aren't quite so bad anymore...

GTA: Bellamy Hill

Personally, I though it was both exhilarating and cool to witness a $60,000 Beamer get smashed to bits in front of our house. I can feel no guilt about this because no one was killed, nor was the car stolen...just some drunk rich kids who demolished their own property. I got to be on Citytv and fill out a police report, which simply adds to the coolness factor of the whole evening.

On Monday evening, the ante was raised further in our quiet little neighbourhood. As I stood in the kitchen I distinctly heard someone knocking on the front door. Maizey started barking so I peeked out the window to see who was there. Nobody. Curious, and confused, I opened the door and stuck my head out...still no one. I then noticed a kid across the street running for cover, and for an instant I figured I might have been pranked. Then Nicole asked me if I'd heard the gun shots and seen the cars speeding away. Apparently I failed to see the black car riddled with bullet holes speed past our home.

Let's see. Someone fires off a few rounds on a semi-automatic, and I stick my melon outside to see what's going on. Surely that debunks the "survival of the fittest" myth.

So within a week, Nicole and I witness two newsworthy events, and this time she gets to fill out the police report. The camera crews from all the stations were parked outside our place, but they refrained from interviewing anyone - I guess it's not a safe idea to put drive-by-shooting witnesses on the late-night news.

Nicole and I are betting we'll witness a stabbing next, perhaps amongst the various vagrants who camp out in the bushes lining our property.

We've really got to learn to keep a camera on us at all times!

Currently: Enjoying the freedom of not applying for another year of student loans.

Go Outdoors

It's very tempting to describe Edmonton as a cold, dirty, concrete wasteland, and if all you see are the outskirts and main roadways, I wouldn't fault you for reaching such a conclusion. The refineries are just plain disgusting and there's very little green along the Whitemud or Yellowhead.

Living in the downtown Rivervalley this past year, however, has forced me to see Edmonton in a completely different light. Quite frankly, the Rivervalley trail system is amazing and there are a tonne of decent parks to be found. Just this evening Nicole and I were looking for the Terwillegar Park off-leash area but ended up wandering around some awesome trails. There were old-growth trees too large to get your arms around...with a bit of effort, you could easily imagine you were in B.C., or even a park in the Rockies. At the very least, all the sights, sounds, and smells of the city were absent, making for a very enjoyable hike.

So, if you haven't done so this summer, get out there and enjoy all the free relaxation opportunities the city has to offer. Once you get out there, you just might be surprised at how much there is to explore.

Currently listening to: The Eskies battling the Alouettes on streaming 630 Ched.

C://windows_xp.err

Okay, so Windows didn't exactly self-destruct, but things haven't been running very smoothly on my computer for quite some time. I mean, geeze, it's been almost half a year since I wiped my HD and re-installed XP from scratch.

So that was part of my morning, backing up my files and downloading XP updates after the install. So fresh. So squeaky clean. This baby'll be running great for the next few days!

Currently: Fearing that I can't find my "back-up copy" of Office 2003.

Old Man Skinner

Residing in a house and having to pay all the various bills which that entails, has an interesting effect on one's youthful, carefree lifestyle.

Anticipating our very first, personalized, water and gas bills, Nicole and I have been dreading what they may contain. So in the meantime, if you're cold, DON'T you dare touch that thermostat...put on a sweater, or two. As for the electricity, you'd better be turning off those lights when you leave a room, and HEY!, why do you have them on anyways...the sun is still up! Sit by a window.

It's not exactly like I'm responsible for cracking the whip, though. I believe Nicole 's stated, "I'd rather freeze to death than pay a $300 gas bill."

So as I deposited several large stones in the toilet's cistern, I wondered, if I'm this miserly at 24, I can't wait to see what I'll be like at 80!

Currently: Understanding completely why Clint and Tara's home is an ice palace.

Destruction Derby

Apparently Nicole and I are news-worthy incident magnets. Specifically, we always seem to witness horrible accidents covered by A-Channel/CityTV. I was interviewed and got to appear on the evening news as one of those "Geeze, I can't believe what just happened!" idiots. That didn't stop me from taping it, of course.

In case you didn't catch the 11:30 news, a beautiful BMW was totaled right in front of our house. Nicole and I were just pulling up to the intersection of Bellamy Hill and 99 Avenue, when the sound of a revving engine and screaming tires alerted me to proceed with caution. Suddenly the Beamer popped into view, flew up onto the curb, spun within metres of my car, nailed the pole in front of our house, then swerved back across all 4 lanes and crashed head-on with yet another giant, steel pole!

It was all a blur of silver car and flying debris.

I put my car in park and decided it would be best to see if the people in the car needed help, when two guys in their mid-20's stumbled out of the wreckage and then fled into the bushes! I didn't quite expect that to happen, so I immediately called 911 and reported the whole event.

Within minutes all of Bellamy Hill was filled with police, fire trucks, and a whole crowd of curious neighbours and rubber-neckers. Since I was one of the few people who witnessed the entire thing, I got to fill out a police report, and my description of the fleeing car wreckers was pretty close to the two guys they managed to nab.

It's scary to think that Nicole and I avoided being hit by mere seconds...I'm pretty sure that BMW would've sliced right through my car, especially with how fast it was flying. It got my adrenaline pumping, that's for sure.

Currently listening to: The peace and quiet of the house when both dogs (Maizey and Babie) are sleeping.