Transfer of Power

The time has finally come for me to relinquish all formal responsibilities to good ol' Lambda Chi Alpha fraternity, and enjoy the secular lifestyle of an alumnus at large. Though I haven't been an active member for quite some time, I've been more than happy to lend assistance in times of need.

The boys had elections last night, and though I was able to predict many of the victories ahead of time, I was pleasantly surprised to see one of their newest members, Kyle Zwarich, win the race for High Gamma (secretary). Not only have I held this position twice (first and last elected positions), but the kid is also from Vegreville. Here's the congratulatory letter I recently sent him.

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Hey, hey!

What can I say, us boys from Vegreville can't resist a good secretarial position.

Though Kyle is a young pup and I'm confident I don't remember him from either Vegreville or the Comp, not only does he keep the town's streak alive and well in Lambda Chi Alpha (Flounder, Natron, myself, George, those damn Hosseiny's...) but his "totally reeking of awesomeness" is inherent.

My initial advice to you, Kyle, is thus:

1. YOU ARE THE MOST POWERFUL officer in the High Zeta, and the Dick Cheney to Adam's George W. I believe the word "omnipotent" is suitable. You're really the one pulling the strings, so don't be afraid to flex that muscle behind the scenes. Also, all coupons and free handouts which arrive in the mail for Lambda Chi are now yours.

2. Though he may insist it's buried somewhere in the Chapter by-laws (which are lost and hopelessly out of date - you should get on fixing that), you are not required to service Dictator Adam orally, as per the adult classic "Cum-Chugging Pantyhose Secretary Sluts 4." The reverse is true, however, if he wishes to get the roster sent in before HQ fines us.

3. Deadlines! Deadlines! Deadlines! When you inevitably fail to submit forms into HQ in time, the blame is to be placed squarely on Canada Post, and the unexplainable mailing delays we're plagued with. When this is not enough, I've found it helpful to also blame all previous High Gammas. Merely mentioning Welke or Tim to HQ will buy you both time and sympathy.

4. Kelly Stockwell must never get his Letters repaired and returned to him. Reasons for ensuring so are chronicled in detail within our secret tome, the Magna Gammatis.

5. The transition of power from outgoing High Gamma to the new High Gamma must be initiated over a Team Pitcher at Boston Pizza, and transfer of power is ONLY complete at the successful killing of said pitcher.

In ZAX!
Kristopher "The Best Gamma Ever, in Perpetuity" Skinner

PS: Actually, Stockwell's Letters should be retuned to him post-haste. I hear those Alpha Chi Lambdas are nothing but drunkards and fornicators. God forbid people get that confused with us Lambda Chi Alphas.
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That sounds like some fine advice to me! If only I'd had such a steady hand to guide me when I first started out.

Currently listening to: Sloan - She Says What She Means

So Many Ways...

...to begrudgingly love AMA. Since the moment I first stepped behind the wheel, at the tender age of 14, the Alberta Motor Association has perpetually found ways to extract large sums of money first from my parents and then from myself. My insurance rates hit an all-time high last year, where the combination of a new-ish car and Edmonton residency pushed my monthly cost to nearly $225.

Let's be honest, $2700 for a year of coverage is outrageous, not to mention more than I actually make for car payments. It would appear, though, that the Alberta governments auto insurance reforms have managed, though only slightly, to impact my pocketbook.

AMA has graciously conceded $45/month on my coverage, which amounts to a reasonable $540 in savings over the course of the year. I still think insurance rates are unjustifiably high, and the reforms have been largely superficial and ineffective, but I'll appreciate what I've saved and run with it.

Currently: Enjoying day #2 of waking up @ 6:00am

Roughneck Hell

Who would have figured Northern Alberta could be so damn cold?

So I call up the Tri-City office to enquire about a few days of work before hitting the books, and they gladly agree to send me off to ol' Rig 13. "Oh, it's near Slave Lake" they initially say. Hey, that doesn't sound so bad, doesn't it? Only a few hours north of Edmonton. "Yeah, from Slave Lake head north to Caddote Lake and you're there!" I check the map...that's an additional 3 hours north of Slave Lake.

I left Edmonton at around 1am, and the roads were absolutely treacherous. Wind, snow drifts/ice, flurries, and speeding logging trucks literally made me fear for my life. For almost 200km I was only going about 60km/h! Upon arriving at Caddote Lake, I then turned 50km into the bush, on a meandering, hilly, lease road. At the end of the road was the Tri-City camp - my "Fortress of Solitude" for the next 10 cold days.

I've never stayed in a camp before, and it was basically like being in some sort of isolated, minimum security prison. Sure, you were free to leave whenever you wanted, but civilization was hundreds of kilometers away. In an ironic twist of fate, they had satellite TV out there, yet no working phones. The only positive aspect was that the beds were warm, we got our own rooms, and the cooks fed us like kings. Ten days out there and they didn't make the same meal twice.

I hear it was cold here in Edmonton while I was gone, but the warmest it got up north was -36C...before the wind chill. I was so cold, it was retarded. I wore 7-8 layers just to keep from losing precious body parts.

But I'm home now, and God forbid that I'll need to head back out there for a while. I'm back in my own bed and in the arms of the one I love. Believe me, I've never appreciated it more.

Currently: Fiddling around with my digital camera

Shock, Disbelief...Immoral Outrage

My friends, we are entering a sad, sad era indeed. The year 2005 will be a landscape of hopelessness and destitution.

First Kazaa Lite and now Suprnova (the source of all that was good and free) has felt the wrath of international corporate lawyers and been shut down. I shall remember the site fondly - a digital playground filled to overflowing with all the games, videos, and applications I could possibly download...and, er, evaluate.

Though Nicole, and possibly the neighbour who is networked with my internet connection, will certainly be happy that my computer will no longer be bogged down by a dozen BitTorrent downloads, I will miss the days, nay, weeks, some precious games took to download. The last file I managed to get before the closure of the site was LOTR: BfME, and though its already consumed far too many hours of my life, will be treasured that much more.

R.I.P. Suprnova.org (2002-2004); you've left this world as a better place that when you found it.

Currently: Dreading the prospect of actually paying for software!

Every Day is Saturday

Sweet, glorious freedom.

But at what a cost! The last exam I wrote this semester was perhaps the most terrifying, most insidious exam I've ever had the misfortune of coming across. Granted, mathematics has never been my strong point, and I haven't worked with a formula or commissioned the services of a calculator since Math 30 in High School, but I honestly tried to wrap my head around this class. It's listed in the university calendar as a Sociology course (and is required for my degree) but I'm fairly certain it's an advanced statistics course, concerning itself very little with social theory and interpretation. It's pretty hard to bullshit your way around the logic of hypothesis testing.

The class was hard, the exam satanic, and I'll be happy with anything resembling a passing grade.

On a more positive note, my favourite lady and I attended the Edmonton Roadrunners' Christmas Charity Challenge game last night. Tickets anywhere in Rexall Place were being sold for exactly $4/each with all proceeds going to charity. I quickly scooped up 4 tickets, with the other pair going to Gregg and Jeremy. I had no idea they'd be joining us, and Nicole kept it very secret...which was a nice treat. For the first hockey game I've attended this year, it pretty much had everything I could have hoped for in an AHL game: fights, hits, goals, free sponge noodles, and not only a win, but a win via a nail-biting shootout!

It was the perfect ending to what started out as a fairly bleak final day of the semester.

Currently listening to: Incubus - Aqueous Transmission

The Null Hypothesis

Well, here I am, on the brink of my final final exam of the school term, and things are running much more smoothly than midterms...at least for this particular class. For the midterm I was up almost the entire night/morning, working on an essay which was due that day in a different class. I had less than an hour's sleep, and was actually quite delirious by the end of the midterm. For this final, however, I've *gasp!* studied ahead of time and will be getting at least a few hours of precious shut-eye.

On an unrelated note, I've noticed that my previous post replaced the post that was there before it, so I'm not really all that sure what Blogger is up to...

Currently: Preparing to play LOTR: BfME for 30 minutes...honest!

Preparing for War

At 90% completed (or 3564.2 MB of 4035.5) and only 6h50min to go, the epic LOTR: Battle for Middle Earth will soon be mine! Though I'm infinitely excited, the download will complete at a rather inopportune time...as I'm wrapping up studying on one exam and preparing for yet another one on Monday.

This will be an extreme test of will power, my friends. Extreme indeed.

Going back to that massive term paper I handed it last week, I recently received a notice from the UofA library informing me that one, of the many books I borrowed, has not been returned! Where the hell could it have gotten to!?

Currently listening to: The White Stripes - I Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself

Ja-la-pa-no

It's taken years, but I've finally gathered up the necessary ingredients to bake a plate of nachos right here in my very own home. Quite commonplace while I was working at the Keg, not once since have I actually combined tortilla chips, cheese, and jalapenos, and actually baked them in the oven - sure, the occasional nuked plate of nachos, but that's not quite the same.

Tonight marked the culmination of years of anticipation, and I couldn't be more satisfied.

Interesting to note: The Blogger "spell check" suggestion for jalapenos was Calvanist.

Currently listening to: Fahrenheit 9/11 in the background...

Social Butterflies

Partied 4 evenings in a row.

In the past 4 hours I've watched The Day After Tomorrow, studied, and updated my ball hockey stats...that bed is looking absolutely irresistable right now....

...and in another 4 hours I'll be up to hit the books, again!

Your Moment of Zen

What's better than a little humour on a beautiful Friday afternoon? Something tells me that the clip from this 1970's British children's TV show would never slip by today's army of censors:

http://www.rainbow.arch.scriptmania.com/rainbow_tv_episode.html

Currently listening to: AIR - J'ai Dormi Sous l'eau