There's only one thing worse than missing a vital Oilers vs Stars game because you're at work all night...it's making your way home after a long night at work, discovering that the game is in sudden death overtime, and the second you turn on the radio you hear, "Guerin scores! The Oilers lose 4-3!"
On a completely unrelated note, I made a call to a Mr. Khan in California tonight......
Currently listening to: KHAN!
Wednesday, March 24, 2004
Moderate Disdain
Joy of joys, my phone has finally been reconnected...and all I had to do was wait an entire month from the time I paid off my outstanding balance with Telus! It never ceases to amaze me that, when owing a heartless commercial monopoly money, their organizational skills and "customer service" departments are quick to mobilize, efficient, and dare I say, downright ruthless in their execution. And yet, once they've collected their money, much like a corporate Jeckyl & Hide, they revert to their inept, bumbling ways, which would explain the month-long wait to have some Telus technician stop by my apartment, wave his magic wand, and reconnect my phone.
They disconnected my line with the push of a button...couldn't they just push the green button, which I whimsically assume resides beside the flashing red disconnect one, to restore my service?
It's nice to put this entire fiasco behind me, though, as I've been running out of nasty things to say about Telus without sounding like a broken record. Entire conversations with friends, family and co-workers have been reduced to automated rants, and like any post or pre-game hockey interview, I was running out of new slanderous hell-fire to spew forth about this company.
Currently listening to: Nicole "study." A concept as foreign to me as linear quantum physics, which I nonetheless observe with an archaeologists curiosity and fascination.
They disconnected my line with the push of a button...couldn't they just push the green button, which I whimsically assume resides beside the flashing red disconnect one, to restore my service?
It's nice to put this entire fiasco behind me, though, as I've been running out of nasty things to say about Telus without sounding like a broken record. Entire conversations with friends, family and co-workers have been reduced to automated rants, and like any post or pre-game hockey interview, I was running out of new slanderous hell-fire to spew forth about this company.
Currently listening to: Nicole "study." A concept as foreign to me as linear quantum physics, which I nonetheless observe with an archaeologists curiosity and fascination.
Monday, March 22, 2004
3 Extra Inches
Well then! I was in the midst of updating this old Blog for the first time since March 1, but more important and pressing matters have arisen and I'm on my way out the door.
I had planned on commenting on my new job or even the fantastic season of ball hockey I've been engaged in with the gang from Vegreville, but I'll wrap this up quickly: the job pays decent and is only moderately zombifying, and those blue street hockey balls are the greatest thing we've adopted since protective goalie equipment. And while I'm bringing up goalies, it's a shame that Russel, our other vetran all-star goaltender, felt inadequate without adding an additional 3 inches. It's still how you use what you've got, Russ, but more power to you, I suppose.
Updated, on the right, the movies I've watched lately and my Ball Hockey Statistics from this season of minding the twine. Ugh...that indoor record just won't do!
Currently listening to: iTunes radio stations refresh, refresh, refresh...
I had planned on commenting on my new job or even the fantastic season of ball hockey I've been engaged in with the gang from Vegreville, but I'll wrap this up quickly: the job pays decent and is only moderately zombifying, and those blue street hockey balls are the greatest thing we've adopted since protective goalie equipment. And while I'm bringing up goalies, it's a shame that Russel, our other vetran all-star goaltender, felt inadequate without adding an additional 3 inches. It's still how you use what you've got, Russ, but more power to you, I suppose.
Updated, on the right, the movies I've watched lately and my Ball Hockey Statistics from this season of minding the twine. Ugh...that indoor record just won't do!
Currently listening to: iTunes radio stations refresh, refresh, refresh...
Monday, March 01, 2004
Pain
Someone remind me not to try and "lead a healthy lifestyle" once I hit 30, because even an hour of physical exertion is enough, at the age of 23, to incapacitate me for days!
Though much has been said about the hours of back-breaking labour all my buddies logged simply to clear the snow for our game of ball hockey, I'd like to put those unfounded concerns aside and address my current situation. It's been months since we've gathered together to play even a single game, and though we're all fairly healthy young men, I wouldn't go so far as to say any of us adhere to an active lifestyle, so an afternoon of running around is quite a shock to the system. I couldn't imagine having to actually run around, but as an All Star goaltender, I've got a few specific taxations on my body - namely the weight of my equipment and the constant kneeling down/standing up (or, well, flopping around) necessary to be effective (I use the term loosely).
It's not the day of the game which you're concerned about, it's the next morning that truly sucks. I've been hobbling around like an old man with two peg legs and the bruises up and down the back of my legs from the pad straps only seem to increase in tenderness.
But as much as I like to bitch and moan, the sheer enjoyment from getting the gang together for an afternoon of heated competition is worth the resulting recovery time, and a few bruises and stiff legs only serve as an encouragement to make sure these games happen with an increased regularity. So here's the all the young, but aging, Backyard Warriors and their foolish exploits yet to come! Ha-zah!
Currently listening to: AIR - How Does It Make You Feel?
Though much has been said about the hours of back-breaking labour all my buddies logged simply to clear the snow for our game of ball hockey, I'd like to put those unfounded concerns aside and address my current situation. It's been months since we've gathered together to play even a single game, and though we're all fairly healthy young men, I wouldn't go so far as to say any of us adhere to an active lifestyle, so an afternoon of running around is quite a shock to the system. I couldn't imagine having to actually run around, but as an All Star goaltender, I've got a few specific taxations on my body - namely the weight of my equipment and the constant kneeling down/standing up (or, well, flopping around) necessary to be effective (I use the term loosely).
It's not the day of the game which you're concerned about, it's the next morning that truly sucks. I've been hobbling around like an old man with two peg legs and the bruises up and down the back of my legs from the pad straps only seem to increase in tenderness.
But as much as I like to bitch and moan, the sheer enjoyment from getting the gang together for an afternoon of heated competition is worth the resulting recovery time, and a few bruises and stiff legs only serve as an encouragement to make sure these games happen with an increased regularity. So here's the all the young, but aging, Backyard Warriors and their foolish exploits yet to come! Ha-zah!
Currently listening to: AIR - How Does It Make You Feel?
Royal Ten-enmity-baums
Just how am I supposed to enjoy my free, downloaded, pirated DVDs if the damn movie cuts out 2/3's of the way through!? Just as I was really enjoying The Royal Tenenbaums the infernal file went up and ended on me. For shame, movie distributing pirates, for shame indeed!
Currently listening to: Silence, instead of the last 30 minutes of the movie.
Currently listening to: Silence, instead of the last 30 minutes of the movie.
Friday, February 27, 2004
Healthy Competition
Mwahahhahahah!
There's nothing like a little friendly competition between two companies which hold near-monopolies in their respective fields - Satan's own damnable spawn, Telus, and the exciting as dry toast, Shaw. Whereas Telus maintains it's icy grip on Edmonton's local telephone service, Shaw has engulfed nearly all cable TV providers. High Speed Internet, however, is where these two behemoths battle for supremacy.
Tired of dealing with the "customer service" whores at Telus (and hey, maybe I owed them a bit of money) I decided to give ol' Shaw a call and see if they'd throw a deal my way. Boy was I in luck. Not only do I get a free month and a reduced rate for 6 months, but they personally show up at your door to smash your Telus ADSL modem into a thousand pieces! These pieces are then scattered to the four corners of the Earth to quell any lingering demons they may have been imbibed with. Burning the modem, however, is not an option as pure evil cannot be incinerated.
Currently: Enjoying a certain degree of satisfaction
There's nothing like a little friendly competition between two companies which hold near-monopolies in their respective fields - Satan's own damnable spawn, Telus, and the exciting as dry toast, Shaw. Whereas Telus maintains it's icy grip on Edmonton's local telephone service, Shaw has engulfed nearly all cable TV providers. High Speed Internet, however, is where these two behemoths battle for supremacy.
Tired of dealing with the "customer service" whores at Telus (and hey, maybe I owed them a bit of money) I decided to give ol' Shaw a call and see if they'd throw a deal my way. Boy was I in luck. Not only do I get a free month and a reduced rate for 6 months, but they personally show up at your door to smash your Telus ADSL modem into a thousand pieces! These pieces are then scattered to the four corners of the Earth to quell any lingering demons they may have been imbibed with. Burning the modem, however, is not an option as pure evil cannot be incinerated.
Currently: Enjoying a certain degree of satisfaction
Wednesday, February 25, 2004
X-Country Disembowelment
For the purposes of this post, I'm going to take you back to yesteryear, to a time when life was carefree and happiness greeted you at every turn - yes, back to Reading Week of 4 days ago.
Now, I've got two scenarios for you, and your task is actually quite simple. Just go with your first gut reaction and answer which of the two you think would be more perilous and filled with fright and excruciating pain: 1) Being mauled to indistinction by a rabid, fucking ornery and hungry Grizzly bear, or; 2) Going cross country skiing on a sunny Winter's day? Don't think about it too much. Try not to over-analyze the scenarios. Now, what'd you pick?
The Grizzly bear gorefest?
Yeah, that's probably what my survival instincts would have persuaded me to choose too if not for an unforgettable afternoon of cross country skiing in Calgary's Olympic Park.
When I try to picture cross country skiing at the base of a ski hill I'd see a pleasant cardio workout involving a few mounds to overcome, but more-or-less a flat circuit that's hospitable to children and senior citizens alike. What awaited us at the Olympic Park was the snow-based equivalent of the American Gladiators Eliminator. How inadequate my thin ski's felt, partlialy locked in guide paths, as my body hurled down sheer cliffs, each sporting a break-neck turn at the peak point of acceleration - which would be the point where I breach the speed of sound, nay, light!
Thinking this would be, quite literally, a "walk in the park," and the gorgeous +7C weather, I hit the hill wearing nothing but pants, t-shirt, and toque. Perhaps this wasn't the best planning on my part, but at least the burns and holes ripped in my flesh were able to come into immediate contact with soothing ice and snow, you know, to prevent further swelling and bruising. In all my previous experiences downhill skiing and snowboarding I've never left a hill so battered and bruised...
...you've won the battle, Olympic Park, but I'll return to win the war!
Currently: Burning even more music to add to my massive mp3 collection!
Now, I've got two scenarios for you, and your task is actually quite simple. Just go with your first gut reaction and answer which of the two you think would be more perilous and filled with fright and excruciating pain: 1) Being mauled to indistinction by a rabid, fucking ornery and hungry Grizzly bear, or; 2) Going cross country skiing on a sunny Winter's day? Don't think about it too much. Try not to over-analyze the scenarios. Now, what'd you pick?
The Grizzly bear gorefest?
Yeah, that's probably what my survival instincts would have persuaded me to choose too if not for an unforgettable afternoon of cross country skiing in Calgary's Olympic Park.
When I try to picture cross country skiing at the base of a ski hill I'd see a pleasant cardio workout involving a few mounds to overcome, but more-or-less a flat circuit that's hospitable to children and senior citizens alike. What awaited us at the Olympic Park was the snow-based equivalent of the American Gladiators Eliminator. How inadequate my thin ski's felt, partlialy locked in guide paths, as my body hurled down sheer cliffs, each sporting a break-neck turn at the peak point of acceleration - which would be the point where I breach the speed of sound, nay, light!
Thinking this would be, quite literally, a "walk in the park," and the gorgeous +7C weather, I hit the hill wearing nothing but pants, t-shirt, and toque. Perhaps this wasn't the best planning on my part, but at least the burns and holes ripped in my flesh were able to come into immediate contact with soothing ice and snow, you know, to prevent further swelling and bruising. In all my previous experiences downhill skiing and snowboarding I've never left a hill so battered and bruised...
...you've won the battle, Olympic Park, but I'll return to win the war!
Currently: Burning even more music to add to my massive mp3 collection!
Monday, February 23, 2004
Back to the Future
Much like the fabled Punxsutawney Phil, as glorified not in real life but in the riveting movie Groundhog Day, I poked my head outside in late January, perma-froze my brain and fingers in the punishing -45C weather, and decided it would be several consecutive weeks before I'd Blog again.
My intricately conceived plan to enjoy Reading Week, plus an additional few days, by having my Wisdom Teeth pulled immediately after the break and once school fired up again was utterly defeated by an under-skilled "dentist" in Vegreville. Upon seeing my x-rays he immediately threw up his arms in surrender and simply stated, "This is beyond my capabilities." Beyond his capabilities to extract 4 misguided teeth, eh? And just what late-night infomercial did he call to receive his degree!? Though I wasn't going to enjoy the remainder of my time off school, I did have the pleasant experience of being put under for the actual procedure, back in Edmonton.
I'd never been knocked unconscious before (unless you count the "I'm gonna live to a hundred and..." incident at George's) so I'm sure all my inquiries to the people around me were starting to get annoying. The actual experience was even cooler than anything I could have imagined! As the doctor injected his magical serum into my I.V., I felt a cold, tingling sensation down my arm, and a strange odour in my mouth. Knowing I didn't have much time I started to count down from ten...nine...eight...se....sev..........out! The very instant before you lose consciousness your eyes go all wonky and relax in completely different directions. Very cool.
Then nothing.
You don't dream. You don't experience any sensations. The hour and a half that they worked on my teeth passed by in the blink of an eye, and I opened my eyes in the recovery room. Quite literally, it felt like I had just time-traveled. I look forward to any and all future surgeries I have, just so I can experience general anesthetic again.
Just why my pants were undone I'm not quite sure, but I assume it had something to do with that $100 the Doc knocked off the bill...
Currently listening to: Jack Johnson - Times Like These
My intricately conceived plan to enjoy Reading Week, plus an additional few days, by having my Wisdom Teeth pulled immediately after the break and once school fired up again was utterly defeated by an under-skilled "dentist" in Vegreville. Upon seeing my x-rays he immediately threw up his arms in surrender and simply stated, "This is beyond my capabilities." Beyond his capabilities to extract 4 misguided teeth, eh? And just what late-night infomercial did he call to receive his degree!? Though I wasn't going to enjoy the remainder of my time off school, I did have the pleasant experience of being put under for the actual procedure, back in Edmonton.
I'd never been knocked unconscious before (unless you count the "I'm gonna live to a hundred and..." incident at George's) so I'm sure all my inquiries to the people around me were starting to get annoying. The actual experience was even cooler than anything I could have imagined! As the doctor injected his magical serum into my I.V., I felt a cold, tingling sensation down my arm, and a strange odour in my mouth. Knowing I didn't have much time I started to count down from ten...nine...eight...se....sev..........out! The very instant before you lose consciousness your eyes go all wonky and relax in completely different directions. Very cool.
Then nothing.
You don't dream. You don't experience any sensations. The hour and a half that they worked on my teeth passed by in the blink of an eye, and I opened my eyes in the recovery room. Quite literally, it felt like I had just time-traveled. I look forward to any and all future surgeries I have, just so I can experience general anesthetic again.
Just why my pants were undone I'm not quite sure, but I assume it had something to do with that $100 the Doc knocked off the bill...
Currently listening to: Jack Johnson - Times Like These
HTML Magic
Though nowhere near as exciting and scandalous as this site, I've been redirecting some of my website building skills for Lambda Chi Alpha, and have concocted a rather pleasing site for our little Chapter here at the University of Alberta.
You can check it out here if you so fancy.
Currently listening to: Oasis - The Hindu Times
You can check it out here if you so fancy.
Currently listening to: Oasis - The Hindu Times
Wednesday, January 28, 2004
Pure Smut
It's been quite the busy week for me at University, for a change, and I think I'm still at the point where I'm actively enjoying it. Not only have I decided to take a gamble with such foreign concepts as "attending class" and "studying," but the rest of my free time has been consumed with International Week seminars.
In the past two days I've managed to sit in on the following sessions:
01 - The Wall In Palestine
02 - When Victims Become Perpetrators: Children of War in the Process of Peace
03 - Issues and Perspectives of Peacebuilding in West Africa
04 - Human Security: War in the 21st Century
05 - FILM - Musicians in the War Zone: A Look at the Effects of War on Children
06 - The National Missile Defense Plan: Consequences for Canadian Independence
07 - Building Sustainable Peace
08 - Edzimkulu: Rebuilding AIDS Communities in South Africa
09 - Breathing Peace (an actual seminar on rediscovering the secrets of natural breathing)
10 - Feeding off Empty Bellies: Structural Violence and the Global Economy
11 - Ending Conflict on the Roof of the World: Potential Solutions fo the Tibet Problem
12 - The Arar Case: A Public Forum
13 - Perspectives on Peace: Pride, Promises, Problems - Canada's Role in the World
That's 1010 minutes of lecture time, or just shy of 17 hours in a mere 2 days...and I've still got 3 days left!
Going to bed last night, though, would have made today run much more smoothly. I reached the sleep-deprived, nerve-rattled boiling point fairly early in my day, as a man sitting in front of me was eating walnuts very slowly, and very crunchily. At the time it felt like I was seconds away from going insane, but I withheld the urge to murder the poor soul, and slowly counted back from ten (not purposely slowly, but 'cause I was super tired) while he continued on enjoying his precious nuts.
Between seminars I stopped in the bathroom, and I really must have looked like hell to all those people around me. My eyes were bloodshot, a vacant stare glazed-over my eyes, and I was wearing army cargos, an "American Psycho" President Bush t-shirt, a ginormous wool-knit touque, and my German army parka. Either I looked like a very tired Faculty of Arts senior student, or a cracked-out junkie trying catch a nap indoors. The line between the two is often very blurred and indistinct.
What did snap me back to harsh reality, though, were the ungodly temperatures enveloping the City of Champions. On campus the mercury read -42C, and that's before the "where'd my testicles go!?" windchill effect, which made it feel closer to -50C! But really, once things dip below -30C it's so mind-numbingly cold that you begin to question just why our Forefathers thought this particular chunk of dirt would make a great place for a sovereign nation anyways?
Currently listening to: Hell freezing over - it's really that cold, dammit!
In the past two days I've managed to sit in on the following sessions:
01 - The Wall In Palestine
02 - When Victims Become Perpetrators: Children of War in the Process of Peace
03 - Issues and Perspectives of Peacebuilding in West Africa
04 - Human Security: War in the 21st Century
05 - FILM - Musicians in the War Zone: A Look at the Effects of War on Children
06 - The National Missile Defense Plan: Consequences for Canadian Independence
07 - Building Sustainable Peace
08 - Edzimkulu: Rebuilding AIDS Communities in South Africa
09 - Breathing Peace (an actual seminar on rediscovering the secrets of natural breathing)
10 - Feeding off Empty Bellies: Structural Violence and the Global Economy
11 - Ending Conflict on the Roof of the World: Potential Solutions fo the Tibet Problem
12 - The Arar Case: A Public Forum
13 - Perspectives on Peace: Pride, Promises, Problems - Canada's Role in the World
That's 1010 minutes of lecture time, or just shy of 17 hours in a mere 2 days...and I've still got 3 days left!
Going to bed last night, though, would have made today run much more smoothly. I reached the sleep-deprived, nerve-rattled boiling point fairly early in my day, as a man sitting in front of me was eating walnuts very slowly, and very crunchily. At the time it felt like I was seconds away from going insane, but I withheld the urge to murder the poor soul, and slowly counted back from ten (not purposely slowly, but 'cause I was super tired) while he continued on enjoying his precious nuts.
Between seminars I stopped in the bathroom, and I really must have looked like hell to all those people around me. My eyes were bloodshot, a vacant stare glazed-over my eyes, and I was wearing army cargos, an "American Psycho" President Bush t-shirt, a ginormous wool-knit touque, and my German army parka. Either I looked like a very tired Faculty of Arts senior student, or a cracked-out junkie trying catch a nap indoors. The line between the two is often very blurred and indistinct.
What did snap me back to harsh reality, though, were the ungodly temperatures enveloping the City of Champions. On campus the mercury read -42C, and that's before the "where'd my testicles go!?" windchill effect, which made it feel closer to -50C! But really, once things dip below -30C it's so mind-numbingly cold that you begin to question just why our Forefathers thought this particular chunk of dirt would make a great place for a sovereign nation anyways?
Currently listening to: Hell freezing over - it's really that cold, dammit!
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