East Side Mario's < Steaming Rat Feces

Without hesitation, or lack of remorse, I would never recommend East Side Mario's to anyone wishing even an acceptable dining experience - not even my worst enemy.

Nicole and I first attempted to crash the Olive Garden but they estimated a 90 minute wait for a table. Forget that, our hungers needed satiation immediately. We kept heading south and ended up in South Edmonton Common, and to our future mutual dissatisfactions, decided to try a bit of American-Italian eating.

My God.

Though we only had to wait 10 minutes or so, we were escorted to a corner table in what I swear was the kiddy room. As we opened the menu's for the first time, Nicole casually observed how "sticky" hers was and pointed out the abundance of crusties between the laminated pages. The server came to take our orders and promptly tipped a container of whipped butter onto the table which then fell all over the floor.

When she returned with our waters and failed to clean up the mess.

After taking our orders she then swiped the menus off the table, smearing them directly over the whipped butter. I guess that solved the "sticky menu" conundrum.

She then returned with our unlimited salad and garlic bread and dropped a second container of whipped butter, this time directly in front of Nicole.

By the time our main courses arrived, we were still surrounded by gobs of whipped butter. We finally asked her to please clean up the table and she half-heartedly did so, practically pouting. By this point we felt no remorse in mentioning that she also forgot our appetizer.

This description, so far, really sounds like it was simply a bad experience with a terrible server. Sure, that was a pain to deal with, but the real reason East Side Mario's sucks ass is because the food is over-priced and terrible. The unlimited bread was dry and flavourless, and the unlimited "caesar salad" was soggy lettuce drowned in near-flavourless dressing. Not a crouton in sight. Our appetizer, calamari, not only tasted but also had the texture of something entirely artificial. I think I summed it up best when I described them as breaded condom rings.

Rubber gaskets would have also been an apt comparison.

The main courses themselves, though they were touted as the special features, were almost embarrassing to behold. Boil some pasta at home and slop on some Ragu and you've got the same thing for 1/10 the price. Nicole's shrimp, inedible. My "mini pork roast," 2/3 bone. Bah! It was absolutely awful. I feel as if words are failing me in trying to convey what a despicable restaurant the place was.

When we first got seated I made the comment that it appeared to be the "Red Robbins of Italian eateries, but now in retrospect, that comment is an unforgivable comparison to any restaurant.

Currently: Begrudgingly choking down my left-overs.

Humanmetrics

Which of the following individuals does not belong to the group?

a) Socrates
b) Rene Descartes
c) Sir Isaac Newton
d) Albert Einstein
e) Bob Newhart
f) Kristopher Skinner
g) C. G. Jung

Ha! It's a trick question! Following Nicole's lead, I filled out Jung's Typology Test and was considered to be an INTP, or an Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Perceiving.

As with most tests of this sort, regardless of medium, the validity of the results is always in question, as is just what the test might actually be measuring, but I still get a kick out of doing them. The INTP description felt like a pretty good fit, though I initially didn't agree with the "love of mathematics" part.

Then I got to thinking...

The math course I'm taking this semester is also my best, mark-wise. It frustrates me to no end, and I have little confidence that I can succeed in my assignments, yet I'm easily 25% above the curve. Perhaps ol' Jung-o ain't so far off the mark after all.

Currently listening to: The Oilers getting destroyed by the Coyotes! Bah!

Secondary School DS Lite

This morning was my third Study Buddy session at Coronation Elementary, and as usual, I was working with two Grade 5 students. I'm usually asked to help the students with either math or reading comprehension. My first session I did both, did all reading comprehension during my second visit, and today it was all math.

These kids are in the IB Program (re: for the smart kids) so they tend to know their stuff - getting them to do their homework or stay focused on task is the challenge with them. Anyways, their teacher had suggested that we could do supplement their assignments with some flash card work. Without premeditation, the thought stuck me that I had my DS with me and a copy of Brain Age. I explained to the teacher that it could work as "electronic flash cards" and she happily agreed.

Man oh man was it a great idea! I'd have the kids work on their assignments and once they finished a section and gave it to me to mark, I'd let them work on Calculations x20. I'd have them correct their mistakes, proceed to the next section, and the cycle would continue. In a nut shell, I roped in their attention with a videogame, they got a reward for doing well, and the whole while they were still doing their math!

Brilliant!

Currently: Looking forward to my first student teacher placement.

Warm Fuzzies

Whether they're actors or not, it's still fun to see their expressions as they play around with the Nintendo Wii Remote. I figure this thing will be reasonably priced by the time I graduate with my B.Ed.

Currently: Pouring over my EDIT 202 Powerpoint notes.

Of Academic Importance

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Binary to Text Converter
Arabic to Roman Numerals Converter
English to Pig-Latin Converter
The Klingon Language Institute
Job Posting for English-Klingon Bilingualists

Yes, that's right. Based on this latest set of lecture notes, my EDIT 202 mid-term exam tomorrow afternoon will be a strange one indeed.

Currently listening to: Our Lady Peace - Wipe That Smile Off Your Face

At A Medium Pace

Twenty-six. The big 2 - 6. The square root of 676. This past Sunday was my latest in a series of annual birthdays and it was a delicious milestone. Apparently Jeremy would have advised me not to turn 26, but, well...here we are.

A handful of us went down to Gabbana: Casual Dining for a taste of inexpensive Asian-fusion dining. I'd been there once previously, quite some time ago, and it was my immediate choice after Unheardof was discovered to be far more pricey than my conscience would allow.

While waiting for a table I glanced around the room and was stricken by an eerily familiar sight. I turned to Nicole and whispered, "Hey, that guy with the glasses over there...he looks...he looks just like Mayor Mandel." Nicole didn't think it was quite an ominous coincidence. "Uh, Honey, that is Mandel." While I bartended at the Shaw Conference Centre I had the chance to serve Bill "The Best City in the Best Province in the Best Country in the World!" Smith and he was a non-tipping, pompous ass. This brush with celebrity was far less enraging.

To sum up the restaurant in one word - delicious. Despite having to resort to my 3rd menu choice, the Teriyaki Chicken Stirfry (the Carmelized Beef Brisket and Glazed Pork Medallions were both out), I wasn't disappointed. The house red wine at $15 for a 1/2L was also a tasty, refreshing deal. By the time desert arrived, which I quickly devoured, I was pleasantly full, though not overly-stuffed, as the meal had already lasted nearly 2 hours.

That was the best part of all - it's labeled "casual dining" for a reason. There was no rush to get in, eat, and get out. It was an atmosphere that encouraged conversation and relaxation. Going out to eat, especially with a group of loved ones, should only partly be about assuaging your hunger pangs.

So, over the course of the evening as I enjoyed great food and waxed poetic about "growing" homemade meat and eating babies, I couldn't help but appreciate that it was a great start to my 26th year.

Currently: Basking in the post-nervousness glow of writing mid-term exam 3-of-5.

Dry Run

Nearly an entire month since I last posted? That would have to mean I'm already 1/8 done my Education degree! Woo! Only 7 eighths to go.

I'll be heading down to Coronation Elementary for an interview tomorrow. Aside from a few chance encounters with my nieces and nephews over the past 10 years, I'll readily admit that my exposure to children is lacking... so I signed up for EPS's Study Buddy Program. Every school has different needs, but you're typically expected to volunteer 1 hour per week, tutoring either a single child or a small group of children. I won't know the specifics of Coronation's expectations until the interview. Needless to say, I'm excited to get my first, primordial, taste of being an educator.

I'm hoping my child will need help with dodgeball.

Currently: Watching the first season of Battlestar Galactica. Awesome.

Now You Know!

Google is a calculator! All these years and I had no idea...I guess this EDIT 202 course isn't a waste of my time after all. Try it out and see.

Currently: Trying out (4 * 2) -10 / 2 =

Corporate Crack Dealers

Fashion designers should be ashamed of themselves.

I'll be the first to admit that with the emergence of "low-rise" jeans, the occasional, fleeting glimpse of female butt cleavage was a new experience not entirely displeasing. Flash forward a good half decade (perhaps even longer) and the entire crack phenomenon has spiraled dangerously out of control!

It seems female dungarees now start at low-rise and progressively work down to super-ultra-low-rise...jeans, sweats, skirts, you name it. There is virtually nothing else for women to buy. Combine this fashion hijacking with shirts that insist on being deceptively short along the backside, and we've got ourselves a recipe for copious amounts of relentless ass crack.

This year at the University has been particularly bad. With a female to male ratio of nearly 40-1 in Elementary Education, this once endearing, juvenile indulgence has been unjustly overwhelmed by my classmates and their continuously exposed derriers. I'm forced to pretty much stare at the ceiling as lectures end and rows of female students arise lest I be blinded by the fluorescent light refracting at various angles off their acres of exposed flesh.

I may be a man, and a man who enjoys the curvaceous figure of the finer sex, but there's a time and a place for appreciating it. My 9:00am Math 160 lecture isn't one of those places. Shame on you fashion industry, shame on you indeed.

Currently listening to: The crinkling moans of wind on tinfoil.

Break Out The Tweed Jacket

"Nurturing children is judged very closely to molesting them... A public perception is that men who teach primary grades are often homosexuals, pedophiles or principals (in training)."

That is a quote from The ATA Magazine which also happens to be in the final assigned reading in my EDU 250 course - I chose to read the article first. I can honestly say that my foray into Elementary Education will be met with unprecedented challenges unlike any I've faced before. Never before have I had to contend with such powerful, negative (and decidedly misinformed) social stigma.

I prefer to counter my initial quote with this one:

"Schools demonstrate daily that child care is women's work. Female teachers, by their presence, demonstrate that caring is what women do. The men are 'out there.' I believe that the absence of men shows that children are not valued in our culture. It seems to me that in our patriarchal society, if children are highly valued, men would be present. Men would regard this as men's work. If children represent the future, then perhaps the future is not valued. Perhaps our society's lack of interest in raising our children shows that we are truly living only for today."

More on this looming social and professional enigma as it develops, my friends.

My first week in pursuit of a second university degree has been overwhelmingly positive and unexpectedly invigorating! It's a completely different feeling to be in the midst of a professional program - a program which is actively preparing you for a career. A program being taught by actual former teachers, who love teaching, and can't wait to ignite that fire within each of us. What a drastic departure from Sociology TA's, who exude utter disdain for undergraduates, yet are forced to "teach" them to further their academic pursuits.

From day one the Faculty of Education made it very clear that it would use every available resource at its disposal to help us students excel. The staff were present at Orientation to congratulate us for our acceptance into the program and offer preemptive offers of support. It's nice to be reminded that new learning environments and philosophies exist within the same institution I've spent the better part of the past decade in.

I can feel it already - this is the start of something great in my life.

Currently: Fighting to type accurately on my new, ergonomic keyboard.