Corporate Crack Dealers

Fashion designers should be ashamed of themselves.

I'll be the first to admit that with the emergence of "low-rise" jeans, the occasional, fleeting glimpse of female butt cleavage was a new experience not entirely displeasing. Flash forward a good half decade (perhaps even longer) and the entire crack phenomenon has spiraled dangerously out of control!

It seems female dungarees now start at low-rise and progressively work down to super-ultra-low-rise...jeans, sweats, skirts, you name it. There is virtually nothing else for women to buy. Combine this fashion hijacking with shirts that insist on being deceptively short along the backside, and we've got ourselves a recipe for copious amounts of relentless ass crack.

This year at the University has been particularly bad. With a female to male ratio of nearly 40-1 in Elementary Education, this once endearing, juvenile indulgence has been unjustly overwhelmed by my classmates and their continuously exposed derriers. I'm forced to pretty much stare at the ceiling as lectures end and rows of female students arise lest I be blinded by the fluorescent light refracting at various angles off their acres of exposed flesh.

I may be a man, and a man who enjoys the curvaceous figure of the finer sex, but there's a time and a place for appreciating it. My 9:00am Math 160 lecture isn't one of those places. Shame on you fashion industry, shame on you indeed.

Currently listening to: The crinkling moans of wind on tinfoil.